Apparently, we are no longer Nets fans and have officially become Knicks fans instead. Thanks to my Guardian Angel. That would be my Grandfather. My mom's father died Sept 7, 1979. I was born Sept 17, 1980. My parents had tried for a long time to have a child and I was a 3 week early souvenir from St. Martins. Oh the timing!!!
Josh was born January 3, 1980 but was due March 15th. His twin, Jake, has Cerebral Palsy. Josh was in an incubator at St. Barnabas. My Dad, during that time, toured NICUs in the area as part of his job. He was an engineer for Beckton Dickenson (BD 24 US patents 80 something world). There is a good chance he saw Josh in the NICU. Later that January my parents went to St. Martins. They were married for 9 years at the time. That September, they had me :)!!!
My Grandpa loved his pipe and died at 65 of lung issues. My Dad's current age. He's the only grandparent I never met and that's a lifelong regret I will have. The concept of a Guardian Angel is strange and crazy unless you've experienced what I have. Especially at night before I got married I would sometimes feel this presence. Like I wasn't alone in the room. But I would look around and know I was alone. I once even saw the outline of a man. There have been times where I have needed help making choices or a miracle to get through something and then I would feel that presence and a solution would come.
Like my first miscarriage. We were still in college, 21 years old, when I got pregnant with that baby. We had been engaged for 2 1/2 years and waited as an engaged couple two years to have sex in the first place. With the wedding still 3 years away we gave in. During that pregnancy, I had a strange version of a period when I would get a period so I never took a test. April 15, 2002 I miscarried at 13 weeks. Yes, 13 weeks. My Grandmother (mom's mother) had died that March. Yes, I was pregnant at her funeral. Yes, I was asked if I had any news at the family dinner between viewings. Apparently, I looked pregnant (not showing though).
A couple of years before my college roommate had an abortion. My Grandparents were catholic (My Grandma was a "pillar of the church" as my mom says but my mom also observes that all 4 "pillars" only had 2 kids). What would I do? They wanted to know. I never took a test since I still got my period, sparing me the choice, but I kept saying to myself most nights before bed "if I am pregnant, miscarriage is the only way out for me". That started after my mom (their daughter) started to ask me if I was pregnant. Another reason I was spared taking the test, they were sparing her from hearing "yes". Telling her about that miscarriage was the hardest thing I had to do, it still is. If I got pregnant now that would still be the hardest moment. But she drove up to school and spent the next day with me, being the supporting mother I needed. Doctor's still can't explain what that "period" was.
A more mild version happened last night. We cheer for the Yankees (Baseball), Giants (Football), Devils (Hockey), Nets (Basketball), and Red Bulls (Soccer). At least we did cheer for the Nets. Now we cheer for the Knicks. Determined by the Devils. Zach is named after Zach Parise from the Devils. The Devils were in the finals and last night was the deciding game 6, if the Kings win, it's over if the Devil's win it's a game 7. First let me explain how we choose the teams to cheer for. In the Spring of 2007 we decided to follow sports. Yankees: well, my Mom's, Mom's father was Joe DiMaggio's Taylor and my Poppop (Dad's father) was a long time fan too. Giants: instincts and I had seen them in the Super Bowl as a kid. My dad used to do the sewing then and it was the only football game he watched a year. Devils: the NJ team and my Brother and Cousin are fans. We were only going to follow the Yankees and Giants at first but after the Giants won Super Bowl 42 we needed something to watch in February. That's where the Devils and Nets came in. I had been to a Nets game once as a kid. My mom worked for Verizon and they had a box. There were other people there so I assumed business got done while watching the game. Just like what Poppop did. My dad says Poppop sometimes took him to Yankee games to hang out with a kid of a guy his dad was doing business with. Poppop was VP of a bank. Red Bulls started two years ago when I started getting tired of all that baseball. We needed a summer filler and Red Bulls are great (also winning the division).
My Guardian Angel has done this type of thing before. You might know the Giants just won this past Super Bowl. Two years ago, while the Yankees were in the American League Conference Finals vs. the Texas Rangers I asked that question. If only one team could win a championship who would you choose. I chose the Giants because Eli deserves the respect and needed more Championships the Payton. So I was surprised the Devils made the finals in the first place because the Giants just won, I didn't think we would be that lucky with our teams. Two in the same year?! Then last night I did something stupid. With the score 2 - 0 Kings (LA) I said to Josh "If the Devils win the cup, we stay Nets fans. If the Kings win, we are officially Knicks fans." The final score was 6 - 1. When I said that there was enough game left for the Devils to still win. My Guardian Angel was a Knicks fan.
For those who don't know, the Nets have moved to Brooklyn and changed their logo. Basically, removed all things connecting them to NJ except players. They abandoned us. We have talked about becoming Knicks fans instead but hadn't decided. Now we have an answer. I wish the Nets well but on to the family team. Thanks to my Guardian Angel.
The deal for the Giants to win was I wouldn't care in Deron Williams goes to a different team. The Devils deal was for the Yankees to miss the playoffs. Since we are no longer Nets fans I will assume the Yankees will miss the playoffs unless Grandpa is outnumbered by all the Yankee fans in the family up there. To be continued.......
Yes, I feel his presence over my shoulder now and am getting happy vibes. I will always wish I got a chance to know him but I know he loves me. When I struggled with my job search and the resulting depression, I know the reason why was because I'm not meant to do any job but care for my loved ones, all of them. I won't go into details but the messages from him were there, and still are. I love you Grandpa.
On to the next big dilemma: it took 2 years to get Zach should we start trying now for a second even though the finances aren't there yet? I don't know what things will be like in the future but I don't want to wait for it to be just right to try since it takes so long to get pregnant. I need his guidance on that more then anything else.
Edit: Guess we'll have an answer soon! We're paying all those medical bills and I can't afford the next month's pack. If the doctor can give me more free samples, we continue, if not, no pills for July!!!
The Doctor gave me 3 packs so we're good. If we did stop the pill I wouldn't chart like I did before, we would simply not be on the pill not actively trying. That's still under discussion. The link is the post I did on the charting I did to get pregnant with Zach.
http://homewithmommy-fran.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-to-guide-what-i-learned-about.html
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