Thursday, October 20, 2011

Is Fertility Treatment A Good Thing?

The answer, in my opinion is ................... it depends. If a couple starts trying to get pregnant when they are both younger then 35, yes it is a good things. There are a lot of people who start trying when they are young enough. Before 35 is healthiest for the Mother and the Baby. Most studies back this up. That includes the father. For the fathers, 41 is the limit according to this article in the Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2011/10/19/would-be-fathers-urged-not-delay-becoming-fathers_n_1021020.html?just_reloaded=1

Fertility treatment can be great for couples who are really struggling and ready to become pregnant. But I also have been reading more and more articles and talking to more and more women who don't feel the biological clock is an issue because of fertility treatment. They are delaying the responsibilities of parenthood saying "I have plenty of time". Basically, fighting nature by trying to hold on to their youth. To me, this is the equivalent to using abortion as a twisted form of birth control. There are women who say "it's okay if I get pregnant because I can just get an abortion". I'm not against abortion in general but I do feel like it should not be as easy to get as it is because of that mentality. It should be treated like the serious life-altering thing it is .................. just like fertility.

Our reproductive tools have an expiration date for a reason. Physical disabilities, learning disabilities, autism, and ADHD are more likely to happen in babies born to older mothers. Gestational diabetes, pre-term labor, and miscarriage are more likely to happen in pregnancies of older mothers. That information is all over studies all over the place so that shouldn't be news. Yet that doesn't stop too many from going back to "I have plenty of time I'll get to a certain point in my career, THEN look for a spouse, and after a while I'll have a kid/kids. It's no big deal if I have trouble there is always IVF". Why can't you work on your career WHILE looking for a spouse and starting a family? Most Fertility clinics won't do IVF for women over 42 and insurance companies have an age limit for what they are willing to pay (varies per company). These women so casually saying they have all this extra time clearly have not looked into what the rules actually are and what their chances are. I'm only 31 and already I am less likely to get pregnant then when I was 28 and had Zach. That took TWO YEARS!!!

Some couples start trying when they are young enough where reproductively they are in great health and young enough for limited pregnancy risks, if any. For those couples, fertility treatment is a wonderful thing and they are more likely to have successful experiences. PCOS is most likely the cause of these problems (ovary issues). A lot of these "plenty of time" women are perfectly healthy when they are younger but issues have developed by the time they start trying.

To be clear, if a couple started trying at 34 and at 36 are getting fertility treatment, I hope it works for them. It's all about taking fertility treatment seriously. My issues are with the people who say "it's no problem I have that option so I can take my time" that implies fertility issues are no big deal and can be taken care of. The problem is, the success rate diminishes the older you are and fertility issues ARE a big deal. To have to use them is a painful thing in itself, physically and emotionally. It's not something that should be thought of so causally.

It's intention isn't to give people an excuse to use the word "eventually". Too many people take the college partying into their late 20's before they say they are ready to spouse hunt. Problem, you just wasted a LOT of important years acting like a college kid, not an adult. Because out of marriage sex is so common (I don't have a problem with that) it's easy to just take relationships lightly, longer, before it's time to "settle down".

There is recently a new life stage defined as a "between Stage" I forget the formal name but it's for adults who act like college kids making "45 the new 35". That's not okay since nature has built us a certain way. For nature, 45 will always be 45 and modern medicine can only go so far in trying to defy the odds.

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