Lesson Plans

By the time I left college I wanted to be a teacher. I took the Praxis while planning the wedding. It's the test all teachers have to take to become certified (sort of like the Barr). I passed the first time and got certified to teach k - 5. My degree is in Dance with a minor in Management so that certification is a "Certificate of Eligibility" Meaning, Alternate Route. I could be hired to be a classroom teacher, be evaluated by the principal regularly and have a veteran teacher as a mentor (the same as those with a "Certificate of Eligibility With Advanced Standing" who graduated with a degree in Education) but I would also have to take some Education classes at a local college.

I got a job tutoring at the Sylvan Learning Center in town (k - 4 reading and math) and substituting in a few towns for a year then just my town for another year. During that time I continued my job search. It was a mixture. Initially, It was applying to maternity leave and all elementary job openings. After a while, I got certified for Preschool through third grade. I would still have to do alternate route but now that included preschool as a possibility. I really loved tutoring and subbing in first through third grade so they were my main focus.

The places that interviewed me were the ones looking for a Substitute or a Teacher's Assistant, not a Classroom Teacher as advertised. I was unwilling to do those things. So I added other part time options to my application list. I loved Sylvan and was only willing to leave it for a classroom of my own. 18 months later, I got a job as an Art Consultant at the local Thomas Kinkade Art Gallery, in May of 2007. That job was listed as "Office Manager". People were mostly interested in selling their paintings back or only buying the gift items. In January of 2008 they let me go. They closed not long after. I decided then to not look anymore. That lengthy job search had caused depression so strong I was medicated. I also got tired of misleading ads and being interviewed when clearly they had the person in mind they were going to hire and I was just a law requirement. I averaged four interviews a month mostly at preschools. I stayed with Sylvan through December of 2008 when my boss ran out of regular hours for me. In October of 2009 she had two hours for me and November of 2009 she had two hours for me. That was the last time I worked. I have a hard time discussing future job searches with my mom because every time someone mentions me and job in the same sentence I relive this nightmare. Including the insults of who actually had the jobs I wanted and seeing some very bad teachers. How did they get a job and not me? 

I used to bring along extra work for when the kids finished their desk work early. Most teachers appreciated this (they told me). I would take classroom management tips I learned and record them into a binder (typed). During that time, anticipating a future classroom of my own, I would write lesson plans based of the format I learned in college and using current teaching standards. I also subscribed to all four Mailbox Magazines and all four Teacher's Helpers (for the different grade levels). As happens with OCD, I put everything including my heart and soul into preparing to be the best teacher I could be. The rejection hurt, a gigantic amount.

Especially after days I subbed in classes of tenured teachers who's management systems didn't work. Like the third grade class where the teacher gave the students separate spelling tests (the not testing kids didn't do the assigned sheets and the tests weren't that different. I did the grading for her and the kids taking the advanced test all got the different words wrong). She also let them draw pictures during reading and writing time (the Principal who was my middle school Vice Principal put a stop to that), and later in the day, when they were supposed to be reading to first graders, she let them just talk while holding a book. The first grade teacher told me that's how she did it. This woman was TENURED!!! Considering it was the school Zach will go to you can expect I'll be bringing that one up!!!

Yesterday, I came across some of the lesson plans in the filing cabinet. I decided to write a preschool lesson so I got the binders with the remaining lessons out of the garage. It included a lot of preschool lessons. Most lessons where from subbing years of 2005 and 2006. I can use some with Zach as he grows older. I like writing the lessons. Maybe I can sell a lesson planning book with all my lessons in it. Probably not since I couldn't find the CD with all the lessons on it. Corrections would mean re-typing them all.

It's probably somewhere, tucked away to shield me from the painful questions of "what if?" Because that may have meant Zach wouldn't be here right now or that he would be much younger. I don't want to know "what if" because I love things the way they are. I choose to be Stay at Home Mom because mine wasn't. I often wonder if she would have understood me better had she been a SAHM. My babysitter knew me better then anyone but my Dad. Three miscarriages and two years of trying all I ever really want to do is saver watching Zach grow and learn and be a part of that. Taking care of him is wonderful. If I was destined to work, I would have gotten one of those jobs. This is living out God's plan because it's the only thing that has made me truly happy.