Saturday, June 25, 2011

Gay Marriage in NY, NJ Law, and I Have NEWS!!!!!! (edited 6/18/2013)

Note: I have since done some research about Marriage Equality and no long think what NJ has is good enough although it's better then some states. This is a really old post and with the recent Supreme Court decisions coming up and flow of states voting for marriage equality I have noticed this post getting a little popular. At the time I was happy to hear that NJ has Civil Unions that are the same rights as married couples just not called marriage. As I learned more about what Civil Unions actually are and how these relationships aren't given the same respect as Marriage, I realized more is needed. Here is a link to that newer post:

http://homewithmommy-fran.blogspot.com/2013/02/marriage-equality.html

I have never understood why people are against gay marriage. How are they going to be effected? Sometimes I read a blog written alternately by a lesbian and a gay man on parentdish:
http://www.parentdish.com/tag/@gaytriarchs.

They have some interesting stories. The important thing is that they are good and loving parents. In one post, the woman wrote about doing a co-book reading for her kindergarten class. The kids kept asking the daughter (adopted) which one is her real Mommy. As a tutor, I had twin first grade students. They were very intelligent, there to be challenged. Their fathers are gay. In Zach's gym class the second session was a loving father and a gay man. These children all belong to gay/lesbian parents but are happy and healthy living a good life. There are kids of strait couples with much less. When I see these loving parents with their happy and healthy kids I feel so angry that they can't get married. All homosexuals really want is the same rights as married couples such as being on a spouse's insurance. Would one parent loose the kids to their "in laws" if the parent to actually biologically father/mother the kids dies? That shouldn't be the case. New York is a tend setting state and I hope many follow.

What about New Jersey? Even though we have a Republican governor I have agreed with most of what he does. Teachers hate him because now they have to pay more health insurance. Get into reality! Private sector workers have had worse for much longer. Teachers have done well in the past. He stopped construction we couldn't afford on yet another way to get into Manhattan. Annoying, yes, but we couldn't afford it. When things get better financially that project can be finished. He has a typical Republican view of marriage being between a man and a woman only but has an interesting take. I saw an interview where he said he agrees that homosexual couples should have the same rights as married couples but not call it marriage. All gay/lesbian couples want are the same exact to-the-letter rights as married couples. Most objection to gay marriage is the definition of marriage. So Christie says "call it Civil Union but give them the same rights". I forget where I saw that interview probably AOLHuffington Post. Fabulous idea, different name, same benefits. Unlike most Republicans he seems to have a grasp of what most non-rich people want.

We have a law: The Civil Unions Act (formerly: The Domestic Union Act). The Civil Unions act is the one currently in effect. It says what Christie says. It's called a Civil Union but couples have the exact same rights as married couples. They share insurance, file taxes jointly, and can keep the kids. 100% equal. They check off "married" or "spouse" on health forms too. That's thanks to a state Supreme Court Ruling of Lewis vs. Harris in 2006. This is how unaffected I am by gay marriage. I didn't even know that until just now!!!

http://www.state.nj.us/treasury/taxation/civilunionact.shtml

Someday, this will be treated like the Civil Rights era is treated now. I look at my parent's and can't believe people were so prejudice back then about silly things. The Civil Rights Law has made our country better in the long run. My mom was an Engineer. She graduated in 1970. She did face adversity in her career mostly early on. I found out at dinner on Tuesday that she became a Director at 27. That's after I told Hugh that people peak career wise between 35 and 45. They might move up more after but that's usually not anywhere near as rapid in growth. I did minor in Management in college so I know some of these things. I pointed out to him that she probably was only promoted because of the female Engineer thing and the Civil Rights Act. It wasn't directly related but she told an interesting story of how former classmates entered the program that eventually became the Director level right out of college and she had to work a few years first. She was told how lucky she was to have earned this. She reminded them that men she went to college with were given it just for graduating. There is a reason she defines herself by her work, it was pioneering.

I like that this country is becoming accepting. I always hated the Don't Ask Don't Tell law thinking if someone wants to fight, I'd rather they do it then a draft be called. Who cares if they are openly gay? Too many Military Personnel have been tossed out for this reason alone. That's not right. I asked my Republican (but I suspect closeted Democrat) Mother-in-Law what she thought about that law. She didn't understand it either. I asked my VERY Republican Father-in-Law who is a Veteran of the Vietnam War. He pretended not to hear me in spite my repeated questioning. I take his silence to mean he likes it. We tend to differ in opinions but I love him.

I can give an analogy to how the Gay/Lesbian people in NY must feel. It's like the fact I can walk and drive again cast free now. For a long time I could do some of the same things that most others can but I had unwanted restricts placed on me. Doors are heavy to open with crutches, great for tornadoes bad for crutches. But with help from others I made it through and now I have the same freedoms everyone else has. The big difference is there will be people openly vocal against Gay Marriage whatever the name. I wonder what Josh's Dad would think of an openly gay family member? Ignorant people are only willing to hear themselves and unwilling to embrace the other side. Zach will be able to embrace all. A family is a family it doesn't matter the configuration as long as there is love, laughter, someone you can count on, and a safe place to come to called home. Maybe Zach's generation will take us one step closer to complete intolerance for prejudice. In case you missed my hidden news: the cast is off!! I can walk, drive, and do everything normally except exercise!!!



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