The Skirt

As I mentioned before I have seen a nutritionist and have started a diet. I only gained 10 pounds but my goal is to loose 15. 130 is still a healthy weight for my height but it's on the heavier side. Every diet requires motivation and this is becoming quite a journey, already. From my Nutritionist suggesting tomato paste for my home made hamburger (ketchup lady) to admitting I was in denial things are getting interesting.

I'll start with the skirt. Along with seasonal every day clothing that I change on the first of the month I have a dress wordrobe  for each season too (complete with shoes as part of my seasonal shoe collection). The only dress thing I needed was a knee length skirt for spring. Now that the spring things are coming out I found and ordered something. This skirt from Victoria's Secret

http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265385118365&c=Page&cid=1292979626804&pagename=vsdWrapper



Pattern Entitled "Multicolored"

I am not usually a pattern person, at least not a scattered pattern like this but the shirts (which I had) are solid color (white SS ruffle shirt also at Victoria's Secret and a 3/4 sleeve purple shirt from Style & Co. (Macys) with circular and square silver rhinestones on it). I just couldn't stop looking at it for two weeks so I knew it was the one even though I originally looked for a denim pencil skirt in a solid color like the dark green one for Fall.

When I followed the measurement chart it said I needed a 34". I thought it was an exaggeration since my 10's usually fit. I called Victoria's Secret and talked to a customer service person. It's a Body by Victoria skirt which runs small so I ordered a 12 and was disappointed. I had to put it 2 inches above my belly button to get it to fit. That's when I decided to use this skirt as a reference for how my diet is going.

It's already closer to the right place even though it's only been a week and I have yet to loose a pound (I have technically only been on the diet for three days since Josh grocery shopped post nutristionist meeting on friday after breakfast but had made some changes before then). I still need to clasp it 2 inches above the belly button but I pull it down one inch and it doesn't ride back up when I sit like it did when I first got it. I put it on every day after exercising and find it is motivating me to exercise even when I was sick and tired.

I realized what caused me to eat the wrong things in the first place. I'm an emotional eater. I used to shop but that got expensive even though I wasn't buying expensive things (mostly decorations for the apartment it took 4 years into our marriage it complete that stuff). I switched to food and even though I can go without cake, chips, and cookies for a while I had been eating a Pop Tart for breakfast everyday day and celeste pizzas for lunch more then I'd care to admit. I used it to help comfort me during busy days or days when we are stuck inside. It doesn't help that I wake up twice a night needing to eat to get back to sleep. But that might be misguided anxiety.

I mentioned previously that I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder where I have a lot of fears, worries, and anxieties. Well, back in November (2010) I woke up in the middle of the night very shakey, uncontrolably, so I ate and took a shower to calm my nerves but I was so shakey I thought I was going to die. Ever since every night even if my tummy isn't grumbling I eat when I wake up shakey (even if it's due to a nightmare which is nightly with GAD, the mind doesn't shut off).

I still am looking for an emotional comforting replacement for food (and shopping) but that skirt and getting it to fit around my belly button (and fasten there) will help me when I go to choose what I'm eating. Sometimes I have to take temptation out of my sight line but it'll be worth it. Now I might need in addition to my Psycologist (for the PPD and Emotional Eating) and the Nutritionist (Diet Management), and General Dr (to prescrible meds for my issues). This thing is a much bigger deal then I anticipated. Funny how it all started when Zach started to walk.