A lot of people in my town work in the city. Usually, Manhattan. I actually have been there a few times. But, as I have gotten older my anxiety and OCD has gotten stronger. I can't handle it anymore. At least, I don't think so. Yet, I find myself wanting to ask my mom if she wants to go to the city together. She loves the city. That's what we call it in this area, "the city".
The last time I was there was in January of 2004. We were wedding dress shopping. The week before was my first time trying on dresses. Josh and I got engaged before I went off to college. So I had spent a lot of time during my last semester that fall dress browsing online. I had already found a David's Bridal dress I liked. When I tried it on, it was the one. But, it was always one of my mom's dreams to shop for my dress in the city. We had already made plans. So the following week, we were in the city.
I took the Citalopram to manage my fear of parking on the roof of the Port Authority. Along with any other high floor I might have to conquer. My cousin was with us. The first place we tried was a small private place. I wanted a bright white dress and theirs were all off-white. So, they recommended this other place. Sure enough, that place had pretty dresses. It was a fun day, but, I got my dress from David's Bridal. That day had really been for my mom.
I've seen the statue of liberty (from the shore thank you). I've seen the naked cowboy. I've seen Time Square. I've seen my mom in a card shop for gay men without realizing it in Greenwich Village. Frankly, the name "The Rainbow Card Shop" should have been a clue. I also have seen some musicals and dance performances. Including my favorite choreographer, Paul Taylor, a couple of times.
We can see the city lights from a nearby reservation. A view from the Hudson as it's called. "Breathtaking" is putting it mildly. There is beauty and music to all of that chaos. There is a reason people move there and don't want to leave.
What makes the city, New York City, so powerful is the diversity. There are so many different neighborhoods filled with so many different types of people. Different incomes, backgrounds, races, genders, sexual identifications, religions, ages, and best of all, personalities.
The power lies in the pure energy you feel just standing on the street looking around you. The power is in the famous places featured in the media. The power is in the flood of people crossing the one way streets. The power is in seeing the suits of wall street and an hour later a gay couple in love in the village. The power is what you feel when you step on the ground within the city. It's just one giant "WOW!!!"
"The City That Never Sleeps"
"The Big Apple"
"The Capital of the World"
"The Empire City"
or, my favorite
"The City"
People come here for careers. Sometimes in entertainment. Sometimes in finance. Sometimes just to work at a big business headquarters. People come here with dreams and goals. Some people come here to find themselves. Some people come here for a fresh start. Some people live in the city their whole life. It's their pulse.
It's a power that's hard to put words to. Especially, for me. It overwhelms me. There is too much stimuli to take in. Too many tight places without quiet. And yet, I am in awe in the city. It takes time to process that I am really there. In the place that is so recognizable and of full of so much history. I just want to take it all in. The serious, the silly, the independence, the diversity, the beauty, the history, the arts, and the pure fame of the city itself.
It is the powerful New York City.
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