Married Young

Josh and I are celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary. We got married young, as did our parents. So it's been funny in recent years to attend first weddings for friends and a family member our age. Like a step back in time.

People mature as they get older. We have changed a lot in those 13 years. We have been through a lot. Together. It's gotten me to think about my experience of getting married young.

For starters there is the kid part. Zach is 8. I spent our 4th anniversary seeing him in an ultrasound for the first time. It was a high risk pregnancy remember. I was 28 when he was born. I will have more time in my life with him because I was younger when I had him.

Zach's first ultrasound. 5weeks and 1 days. Our fourth anniversary.

I'm glad we got married when we did. But, we were also ready for marriage. When we hit a rough patch a few years ago we had that talk. "Do you still want to be married to me?" We realized then that we mostly still had good times and both wanted to put the effort in to get through it. Today, things are fantastic!

We became a couple over 19 years ago. 19 years of enjoying each other's personalities. We just know when the other person needs something. Without them asking. We still just enjoy walking or driving and talking to each other. All sorts of topics work.

I still remember how weird it felt when we first got married and moved in together. In old fashioned form, we didn't live together until after the wedding. We've gone through job changes, layoffs, Josh's hip, my depression, multiple miscarriages, struggles getting pregnant, moving to this condo, and many other ups and downs together.

Together. That's the key word. We're in this together. We both still want this marriage. We both still very much love each other. There is more to our marriage then household management and parenting. There has to be for a marriage to work. We cherish that time alone together. We cherish our family time too. But, we have spent our adulthood together. We have experienced the developmental changes of adulthood together.

I wouldn't have it any other way. It's so much easier to work through the ups and downs of life with someone there going through it too. Someone to talk to who is literally having the same experience. Someone who knows what to do when you need comfort and who knows how you like to celebrate.

Would I recommend getting married young? It depends on the people in question. At 17 and 18 on our first date we both said we only wanted a serious relationship. Neither of us were ever partiers. We both were always very close with our families.

When your interests become more home and family focused, you are ready for marriage and, if you want, kids. That's when your heart is open to finding someone to share that life with. As long as they are genuinely ready for it too.