Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Breaking My Silence

We are poor. Both of our parents help but we have been applying for government assistance in multiple places. Every time I read or hear a comment against "moochers" I want to punch that person.................HARD.................somewhere that won't be forgotten and might leave a scar.

Our problems can be directly traced to Republican policies or Republicans obstructing bills that would improve our situation. I haven't talked about these experiences because I didn't want to deal with the ignorant people that think all of our problems magically go away if I "get a job". Uninformed stupidity from strangers, friends, and family that refuse to listen when I say it for the millionth time...............I CAN'T WORK BECAUSE OF MY SEVERE ANXIETY DISORDER.

I don't owe anyone an explanation. I'm tired of the ignorant refusing to listen to me. I can't respect people who think like that. The only people who truly believe me are those that have seen my "bat crap crazy" days. Days that happen when I am under too much stress.

So the comments started "why don't you apply for disability?" So I did. Last June. The ignorant yet judgmental think it's easy. In addition to a mountain of paperwork on our income, I had to include multiple doctor references, a written explanation including examples of why I can't work, and a specific date I couldn't work as of.

It was easy to get my primary doctor and Psychologist to write their recommendations. They both strongly feel like there isn't a job that I can handle. The hard part was a date. I selected the date that Sylvan basically laid me off. It was when I was 12 weeks pregnant in Zach's high risk pregnancy. But, nothing magical happened on that date. So we were denied.

In the meantime, last year and this year we do receive tax subsidy on our health care plan through the NJ exchange. But, that required jumping through a lot of hoops too. This year, we had to apply for Medicaid too. It was required because of our shaky household income from last year.

I literally sent everything we had. They required a note from me specifically saying I don't earn an income. Taxes from 2014, W2s from last year, everything and it wasn't enough. After weeks of getting a generic message that they still haven't received everything needed, I emailed an angry note. It highlighted our financial information including the facts that Josh started at the pizza place in June and the grocery story in July. I ended it saying "I have nothing else to send call me with what you need and I'll give it to you". I included my number and got the call. When I clarified the months Josh started his jobs in, that's all they needed. You read that right, it was in the note I sent that had my number on it and they STILL needed to call. Two months later, they had what they needed to make a decision. Zach was uninsured for two months.

We qualified for Medicaid but maintain the health exchange plan too. Few doctors take Medicaid. It's under the name "United Health Community". At least that's less embarrassing to say with strangers behind you.

Someone says the word "Medicaid" and everyone looks up at the poor person. The same way you can't stop looking at a car wreck or a fire. If you don't like tax money going to help families like mine, pay enough so these services aren't needed!!! VOTE DEMOCRAT AND WE DON'T NEED TO LIVE OFF YOUR TAX MONEY!!!!!

Our need for help reached a new low today. My parents agreed to pay for us to join the town pool this year. But, we have to apply for the assistance the town offers first. I expected they would require proof of income so I brought my tax document with me. It turns out in addition to that they need two things. One is the W2s. Okay, that's understandable. The other is a written referral from "the school nurse, a member of the clergy, a social worker, etc..........".

For the town pool!!!!! I understand wanting the tax form and the W2. That's proof of income. But, I can't understand the required referral. Why am I being forced to tell yet another person of our income status? Why is it their business? Why is that necessary? To embarrass poor people? To make more unnecessary work for poor people? There is literally no good reason for this requirement. The tax form and W2 protect taxpayers from fraud. This step is pure and simple harassment.

I have been against applying for SNAP benefits. My Mom volunteers at a charity and is certain we would qualify. But after all of these experiences I don't think I can do that again. We do have the budget to pay for groceries. But the help would make a difference. I have been against it because I get judged enough.

It might just be a regular card these days. But, I have read too many stories from those who receive benefits. Always judged no matter what they are buying. Forced to hear the comments from strangers in line about how they are paying for that person's food. Healthy, unhealthy, it doesn't matter.

I don't want to be judged for every non-essential purchase I make. I don't want to be judged because I wear necklaces and our clothes don't have holes in them. We can't afford smart phones and it has crossed over from something that "would be nice" to an actual necessity for us. I get one haircut a year and this year's is a Christmas present from Josh's parents. Our AAA membership is the most important annual Christmas present we could get and it's from Josh's sister. One computer. Circumstances most people couldn't understand or live under themselves. Yet we already get judged for every penny we spend. It's no one else's business. Yet others feel like it's okay for them to decide if they approve or not.

Well, it's not your business. No one in NJ is raising the minimum wage to $15. Too many are not voting for the politicians that want to hold the rich accountable for the income gap and want to close that gap.

So I made my Mom a deal. She has to do all the research into what it takes to apply for SNAP benefits. She also has to physically perform all of those steps in real time. I told her I am only willing to put a very small amount of effort into applying for SNAP. If they won't need much, I'll apply. If it requires what Medicaid required, I'M OUT!!!

But, for the first time, she will experience that it's no where near as simple as people think it is. It's easy to say the steps. It's very different to do them. There is also all that unspoken judgment I talked about. Frankly, I can't take it anymore.

But, it's easy to harass the poor in America today. Few fight for us. Few don't judge us. Few make life easier for us. Most harass us. Most judge us. Most make life harder for us. We are trapped in our circumstances. Trapped needing help we don't want to need. My silence it broken.

I have a dare for everyone that judges the poor or thinks of us as "moochers". Don't just look up what the steps are to apply for all types of government assistance. Actually do all of them in real time. Too much work? Thought so. It won't stop you from burying your insecurities in judging those who actually do those things out of necessity.

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