A year ago, Josh got laid off. For all of us in my family, that's the day the world crashed around us. We all need predictability and stability. I can't think of what to say next. We need predictability and stability to stay sane? stay balanced? stay focused? stay calm? I think the answer is all of the above.
Within a month, Josh started a sales job. But it was commission only and he was working seven days a week. They were very long days for all of us. It wasn't a family friendly job. So he quit after six weeks. That gave him time to job search.
In mid-January he broke his hip. Before then, he had lied to me about going back to work at his old company. In May, he lied about a new job. I think that's common for men unemployed for a long time. It's embarrassing when you are trying so hard to do the right thing. So much about job searching is out of the candidate's hands. Providing for your family is a basic male instinct that goes back to the cavemen. It doesn't go away.
In early June he came clean about still being unemployed. So that's when he started delivering pizzas. He's still doing that now in addition to a second job. I can safely say that. Because pay checks and pay stubs have been provided. He started his other current job in July.
In July he started working as a supervisor for the registers at a grocery store. But he told the general manager about his experience inspecting cheese. When the Manager of the cheese department left a couple of weeks ago, the Assistant was promoted and Josh was given the Assistant job in the cheese department.
He might be able to quit the pizza delivery job once the paycheck arrives for this job. It comes on Thursday. My fingers are crossed that it's enough to provide the basics for us! I'm nervous about him delivering pizzas in snow and ice this winter!!!!! In the meantime, he's continuing to job search.
He loves cheese. It's a comfort food for him. Being surrounded by cheese relaxes him. But this has reminded us both why Zach is banned from working in retail. You can't make enough to live off of in retail until you are an overall store manager or higher in most places. In a small amount of companies, the Assistant Manager position barely pays enough to live off of. Josh and I both have spent years working in retail with various titles. This was said after research and experience.
In the front of the store, he would have been unionized. Now, he'll have to work if there is a strike. But the hours are unpredictable. You can't plan anything. You are also away from your family for at least one weekend day and holidays. All of that is reasonable if you are making about $50,000 a year or more. But, when you are making minimum wage, it's too much to ask at $7.50/hour. People need to be able to have second jobs in that case. So their hours need to be the same every week. They also still need a day off.
Very few people who have never worked in retail understand how hard it is to do these jobs and how stressful it is to live off the pathetic pay. The ONLY retail place that acknowledges this and pays ALL of their employees a reasonable amount is Costco!!! It's no coincidence that customers are highly satisfied with the employees at Costco. If you want energetic and happy employees, you have to pay them enough to reduce their stress. Henry Ford is the most ignored genius ever!!!
What's ahead? Well, he's not looking in retail anymore. But it's been 9 months since he broke his hip. He's healed a lot. He's applying to Quality Manager jobs again. Mostly focusing on food. He checks but the FDA isn't hiring in New Jersey. We ALL hope he finds something with much more predictable hours and better pay.
Most places won't look at resumes if there isn't current employment listed. Josh has two jobs. He's reapplying to jobs from when he was unemployed. Only the jobs he's well qualified for. We are still trying to find the job that is the best fit for him. We are still putting our trust in God. But here's the irony, he's now selling the cheese he used to inspect.
What about Zach and me? How are we adjusting? The answer is that we're not really adjusted. You CAN'T adjust when it's a different routine every day. You can't adjust on the budget we've been living off of. We love Josh and know he's trying his best. But it's been too much stress and instability for too long. Zach and I are both going through a rough stretch.
I find myself pleading to God for this to end. I have questioned my faith, banned Zach from going to church, then changed my mind many times over this past year. My current stage in the cycle is on "God has a plan we have to trust Him." We were holding on. I feel my hands slipping. Zach used to have more calm moments. He hasn't in a long time. He has been playing more aggressively. Some of it is that he's a six year old boy. The rest of it is letting out his frustration.
I hope there is an end in sight. We can't do this much longer. I don't know what will happen if it crosses that line from "too long" to "long enough". But I feel it coming. God needs to prove that prayer works. He needs to stop this before that line is crossed. A good start is the paycheck we desperately need to see on Thursday!!!
I want to ask for a miracle. But that feels selfish. Miracles are for the dying. Miracles are for those born in tragic conditions. Miracles are for the homeless, poor, abused, and those struggling to conceive. But that's what we need right now to make things better.
The only thing reliable: We love each other and are in this together!
No comments:
Post a Comment