From "Mommy" To "Mom"

After three miscarriages and two years of trying I made a decision when I got pregnant with Zach:

I'm "Mommy" until he turns six then I'm "Mom"

His sixth birthday is June 5th.

It might sound odd but I did feel a transition. He's a big kid. When he walks home with his friend, he looks like I did when I was nine! He has homework. And I have the SCA. The SCA is this town's version of the PTA.

Basically, I became "Mom" when he started Kindergarten. I didn't notice until December for the school's Holiday Shop. A year ago at this time I knew I wanted to help with Picture Day in September and the Holiday Shop. On Picture Day I only stayed for an hour and met a couple of other parents.

But there were a lot of parents helping out at the Holiday Shop. I also helped from the start of the day until Kindergarten got out at 12:30. I realized how many parents I knew and not all of them were from Kindergarten pick up or High School. I fit in with the other "Mom's". As in, the Mom's with older kids. The Mom's with older kids even recognize me!

Since then I started volunteering at the Library every week and the Book Fair. I had planned to stay at the Book Fair for an hour but rescheduled an Orthopedist appointment to finish off the morning for them. They were low on Volunteers. Just today I signed up to help with Field Day and the Pizza Lunch after.

The funny thing is that this is LITERALLY what I dreamed about. It's LITERALLY everything I wanted. I was looking forward to Zach being in Elementary school since we got married! I started off being scared to volunteer for much but I'm enjoying being the Mom I always wanted to be.

I was the Mommy I always wanted to be. Zach is thriving today in large part because I was a good Mommy. Now I'm an even better Mom. I'm becoming the Mom that volunteers for a lot. In the next couple of years I might be asked to volunteer if the chair for an event is low on volunteers. Because they are starting to know me, know I have one kid, and know I'm a Stay-At-Home-Mom. They also know I am willing to volunteer for a lot and will put in extra time if it's needed. Next year I added helping with the Thursday SCA lunches about once a month and selling School Spirit wear.

I always talk about how God has a plan. Everything actually does happen for a reason. My retail background came in handy when I was the only one who knew how to change the receipt paper for the Book Sale. It also helped when helping kids shop at the Holiday Shop. I use my Tutoring background in helping Zach with his homework. He's thriving in school. But that isn't the most important part of my background.

In 2005 I got fingerprinted. It was professionally done on a computer for when I was a Substitute. Required by the state. When you volunteer at the school for more then three days you need to have that fingerprinting done. They don't usually make a big deal over if a parent doesn't have it done. But I just had to archive those prints for a criminal background check now I can be in the school as much as I'm needed. Obviously, I passed the background check. If they ever need to show them, they can. All because I did that in 2005.

Parenting evolves over time. Every once in a while you realize you used to do things differently and can't remember how, when, or why things changed. The rules need to change as the child changes. I have always said "reward responsibility with freedom". Zach is very helpful and responsible. So we give him an age appropriate amount of freedom.

"Safe, legal, and age appropriate" still works. His tastes have changed in some cases. But all of his interests are safe legal, and age appropriate. Maybe the reason he is so responsible is because he has enough room to be himself. He can explore who he is now. He doesn't have to wait until Middle School when there aren't so many parent rules to follow.

Zach loves that I volunteer at his school so much. It's a treat for both of us. One classmate even drew me a picture because she thinks it's so great I help with the library class. Library can be fun when you have OCD. I don't even need a "Visitor's" name tag anymore. They all know why I'm there and who I'm attached to. It feels good to be Mom. I'm LITERALLY living my dream!