Redefining Perfect

We usually think of perfect as being flawless. We say nothing is perfect. Perfect is unachievable. We also say “aim for perfection”. The problem is that since it is unachievable it means we don’t feel like we will ever be good enough. So I decided to redefine what perfect means……..thanks to my Mums.

Behind my decorations are three Mums. I got them unbloomed at the start of September. It’s late enough in October where the early blooms are dead but they still have unbloomed buds on them. The two orange ones, on either side, are still beautiful with only a few dead blooms but for the past week I had been questioning the red ones in the middle.  I’ve been thinking about throwing it out. It still has some unbloomed buds but it bloomed first so it has a lot of dead or faded flowers.

In the front row, in the center, are red Mums that I got in early October. They are beautiful and don’t have any dead flowers. They also still have unbloomed flowers. They look so much more full of life then the red ones from September. The ones in the front are as close to the traditional definition of perfect as possible. How can the ones in the back compete? They have always been smaller to begin with but now they have flawed flowers when the one in the front doesn’t.

I spend a lot of time up close to all flowers as I tend the garden, one pot at a time, at least once a week and when I water almost daily. I don’t often just look at my garden from a distance, really look at it. So today I did. Those red Mums that are between the orange Mums are beautiful. I no longer question if they should be thrown out. They will remain. Their flaws aren’t noticeable from far away and they still look full. Suddenly, I am able to see them differently.

To me, Zach is perfect. He’s smart, adorable, energetic, happy, a fantastic eater, well behaved, helpful, and always tries his best. He isn’t flawless, sometimes he hates when you would rather do something without his help even if he helps with other things. He also isn’t great at listening if he’s really into what he’s doing (but his teachers say that’s not a problem at school). I wouldn’t want him to be any different than he is, he’s perfect.

All I really look for in flowers is that they are beautiful but I understand they all fad eventually. As long as they last a long time it means I am taking proper care of them and that’s important to me. I get tons of compliments on my garden, I work hard on it. When I stopped being nitpicky I saw how beautiful they really are.

Perfect now means: As good as possible. That’s something that is wrong with the old definition, the lack of possibility to achieve. Perfect should be at its best, even with the inevitable flaws. Those are reachable standards. Don’t get me wrong, next year I’ll get the Mums and Pumpkins on the first Saturday in October instead, unbloomed………assuming I can control myself. Maybe I’ll get one Mum in early September to tide me over but the rest later. No matter when I get them I know they’ll be perfect because they will be the best they could possibly be.