First Day Of Preschool

Yes, I missed my baby!!! There I said it!!! For most parents with only one kid when that kid starts preschool they miss that kid and start the "are we ready for another" talk. I'd love another but God has decided I'm not allowed to have another one. I didn't cry all morning but I am starting to cry now. My baby is a big boy and I'll never get the baby back. He'll grow more and more independent and eventually leave me for much longer then 3.5 hours two days a week. Ironic how it happened a month after my brother got his own apartment and left my parents leaving me with this reminder: that will be Zach someday and the accompanying pain of what that means for a mother denied a chance to have a second baby. The cliche is right, they grow up WAYYY to fast. But it's necessary and healthy.

There's the emotional breakdown everyone knew would happen. Now on to Zach.

Zach liked preschool. He wore his Elmo face hoodie and I think it helped. Kids noticed making him popular. We were ready WAYYY to early so we took my mom with us (she is paying for it). She was there when came into the world she can be there when he takes his first steps alone into it. Zach has been there a few times so he knew where his class would be. Back we went to hang up his coat and prepare for the day (he'll get his name tag hopefully tomorrow). I had a few questions so I left him to play with grandma to ask them. After, I knelt down and told him to pay attention. He held my face with one hand, a trick Daddy taught him, and listened as I said "This is a nice, safe environment. I love you and will pick you up for lunch. You can tell me about your day then" and gave him a goodbye kiss. The owner was nearby watching. She is incredibly nice. I mentioned before her husband was my Father-in-law's partner at Verizon (manhole work, at one point my mom was their bosses, bosses, boss). She made sure he knew where the bathroom is. Then we left. I took Grandma home and hung out for a while then went home to do chores.

I have never been more grateful for so much laundry! I needed to stay busy. The last hour before I could get ready to get him was a killer. Can you say "fidgety!" I only left 15 minutes to get dressed and get there and I was still early!!! I got to watch him from the observation window. He was standing with his back to me watching the class but not participating. I suspected he had a taggie in his mouth and sure enough he did.(Burp cloth tag it's the comfort object) .

I asked his teacher if he participated at all and she said he did for some things. Snack was at 10:30. Thank goodness! The day we visited it was at 11 but Zach is used to snack at 10:30 so I was concerned about that. He wouldn't eat there snack but I had packed pumpernickel so they gave him that. I had told the 3 year old class teacher about that and she must have told the owner, Susan. I asked if he cried and they said a little but the taggie helped. They said they asked about the potty a few times and eventually he did go (no accidents but I knew he wouldn't).

I picked him up and gave him kisses and he held on tight to me. He missed me but had fun. He was happy that lunch was pre-made and ate all of his salad before his sandwich. That's right my big boy has moved from roll ups to actual sandwiches! Like all little kids he loves his backpack. They took pictures of him so I will post them if I get them emailed to me.

I don't think I'll ever forget that image from the observation window of my son standing there in school with his back to me, not participating but watching. He does that so my guess is soon he'll participate. Mommy is proud of herself for packing just the right snack and remembering that taggie. As we both adjust to this experience it will get easier. He's ready for it and that's healthy. In time, I hope to get over the feeling of pain whenever he shows signs of being bigger and a little more mature knowing I'll never experience the old stages again. I am happy for him and love watching him grow. I have always tried to enjoy every stage. I try to remind myself that he'll always be my baby.