My Personal Mind Games

At various points in this blog I have thought I had PMDD and Post-Partium Depression. Turns out neither. Occasionally I get very angry and yell at the person angering me. It doesn't happen that often but it happens when deserved. Like what any normal person would do.

Example: on Halloween (Monday the 31st) we had gone three days without bathing and doing laundry (something I do almost daily) since that Friday. We went to my parent's house with the intent to do both (the snow storm was that Saturday). My brother had taken that day off to do laundry too. He had three big loads. I asked him to wash his cloths on cold (which prevents shrinking) so we could clean ourselves but he didn't budge. So I moved it from warm to cold so we could at least bathe while he did laundry. He moved it to Hot using up all the hot water meaning we had to wait all day to bathe. I screamed, I yelled, I said bad words, all because he genuinely is an Arrogant Bully.

He's one of those "Bow To Me" people I talked about earlier. They are of the mentality "If I can't get my way I'll make it hard for you to get yours." They only help when they want to and in general make like difficult for everyone else. These are the people who run stop signs to get in front of you on busy one lane roads then go 5 miles under the limit (even without someone ahead of them and without any signs like weaving that they are looking for something). They want to control everyone. He refuses to read this blog because he doesn't want to "endorse" it (you're not a celebrity you don't endorse anything) and refuses to give me email because I "send him spam" (he clearly doesn't know what the definition of spam is since the closest I sent was a word document with christmas gift ideas for Zach).

My parents should have disciplined it out of him when he was Zach's age but alas we are stuck with him like this. Normally, it's not so bad, but when you are dirty, tired, cold, and stressed out and all you want to do is clean yourself, your family, and your cloths it pushed me too far that he couldn't even compromise with the water temperature. If the water was on cold, we could have at least gotten clean (something a considerate person would have done) instead he wanted to dominate everything. My mother didn't see anything wrong with his actions. Josh took the laundry to his parent's house. I told her she got off easy.

Once it became clear that I don't have PMDD or PPD, I thought about Borderline Personality Disorder. I really don't show these mood swings as often as I thought. It turns out, I'm not the problem. Normal people get angry at others who cause it. It's my OCD and GAD (those I DO have). They make me think in extremes.

But those aren't the only mind games. Last night I had a twins dream. I was nervous cracking open the eggs at breakfast this morning. All because I had never gotten double yolks before (and no one around me has ever come across a double yolk!) yet I had one last week and there was the one last night. See the previous post if you're lost. Josh's mom got two toys in an egg when she was pregnant with him and Jake. Twins are likely if you conceive on the pill (which I am on and isn't 100%). Are you up to being a big brother Zach?

My cousin Sean and his twin daughters (and wife Jaysree). I thought the double yolk thing was because they visited last Thursday but then I got the double yolk last night. My cousin Clare has twins too.