The Lost Art of Communication

Yesterday I called a good family friend, Dona, who was my babysitter growing up. I called her house, cell, and left an email. She hasn't responded yet. Two weeks ago, I sent a text message to two moms from Zach's gym class to get their email addresses for Zach's birthday invite. No response either. This wouldn't be frustrating if it were rare. Have you ever felt like you can't ever reach anyone?

I don't facebook, tweet, or any of that. I don't have text comversations beyond 4 messages (sent, receive, sent, receive) before I call the person I'm communicating with. These things are supposed to make people more reachable yet it seems harder then ever to get ahold of someone. It's not like I am trying to reach top executives, something I've had an easier time of including Lisa. I even emailed the NFL yesterday about the lockout. Later that day, the owners submitted a new proposal to the players. I made a point of mentioning how ticket sales will suffer both if they put replacements on the field and if the lockout lasts much longer and the teams can't properly prepare.

I have never owned anything that begins with a lowercase i or has an app. It took a year to figure out what in the world an app was. I don't feel like they are necessary. Yet all these supposedly smart people carrying around phones that are smarter can't seem to respond when someone initiates communication. Why are we isolating ourselves?

I have seen a shift in how we in this society act. There used to be a fewer selfish people. It's become a me-first society. How will this effect me? How will I benefit? Charity is no longer for selfless reasons. Charitable donations are for tax writeoffs not to actually help those who need it. That's just an added benefit. My parent's have always been very genuine in their charity. They have a lot from hard work and want to help those not as fortunate. My brother is too and I try to be whenever possible. But my mom's schedule takes priority for planning things.

I'm tired of it taking forever to get responses to my messages. I'm tired of having to leave messages when I call at a good time. I'm tired of not always receiving responses. My parents no longer talk on the phone with me for more then a few minutes. Long conversations are on Instant Messanger. Without seeing or hearing each other we are distancing ourselves from each other.

Then my single friends complain about how hard it is to meet someone. Guess what, we're in a world where people don't reveal their true selves. It's easy to exagerate on social networking sites. It's easy to not share your secrets and to gauge which opinions you vocalize based on who you are talking with. It's easier to try to avoid causing controversy because then you don't have to defend yourself.

Josh's dad has never been good at communication. The two of them converse with mostly gestures and a few words. It's the reason for our recent issues. He never learned how to vocalize what is bothering him. He's much better since we started going out but has reverted back, as you can tell, since his mistakes came to light at the end of September 2009. He's still mad at himself for ruining everything and almost losing everything.  That's when his dimenor changed. I grew up learning how important communication is in solving problems. Negotiations are necessary.

It doesn't matter what party dominates the government. If compromise doesn't happen nothing with work and worse problems will be created. I read an article today. The link is below. It talks about how the Tea Partiers don't want compromise. This country is screwed without compromise.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/17/john-boehner-tea-party_n_863016.html

Tea Party/Republicans/ Democrates and the NFL/NFLPA have the same problem. By being unwilling to budge or compromise, they aren't listening to each other. Tea Partiers don't want the debt ceiling rasised but Boehner understands exactly how badly everyone in the world will be negatively effected by the US defalting. Tea Partiers aren't listening. Just like the NFL owners originally offered a reasonable starting point for negotiations. Players didn't think it counted as an offer. I liked that offer and thought it was a great starting point but thought the players should ask for more money, negotiations. Compromise. Everything Roger Goodell has been fighting for. Fighting with a lawyer who's job is to prove he's right, not compromise.

Bottom line, we've stopped listening to each other and the world has suffered for it. We have all these modern tools that are great for communication but all we don't communicate, at least not anything real. My real feeling: I'm against abortion but birth control isn't abortion and should be better covered. I see nothing wrong with gay marriage and are confused how those opposed to it think it would effect them. I'm a Democrate who understands that Obama would have much better ratings if Republicans weren't thinking of their rich corporate sponsors when objecting to every word he says. He needs to veto to get his way somewhere, Then Americans will stop blaming him and start seeing why the things their beloved Republicans want are tearing the country apart. Medicare is important yet most people on it are Republicans voting for the same people who would rather remove it or privatize it then tax the rich. You know, the people paying for their elections. Our situation gets worse the more Republicans get their way.

Start by asking: How's your day? How's life? Anything going on? Zach knows how to listen: