Our 15th Anniversary

Josh and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary this week. We had our celebratory date night last night. It looked like most of the dates we have had throughout our relationship. When you find something that works, there is no need to change it.

On our first date we went to Burger King for dinner then saw Armageddon in the movie theater. A movie theater that used to be in the same plaza where Josh works. When he told his boss that part, his boss responded "hold on, there was a movie theater down by the bank?" Yup, it actually was still open when his boss opened the pizza restaurant. It just closed years ago. After the movie we took a walk and went to Dunkin Doughnuts for a snack. Then I met his parents when I drove him home. He didn't have a license at the time. Remember, I was 17 and he was 18 at the time.

But, most of our dates have included a walk, dinner, another walk, a drive, and a stop at a store for another walk. We were never loud crowds people. We always liked just talking and being able to hear each other. We eat early to avoid crowded restaurants and long wait times.

We can't afford more then Burger King most date nights. But, for special nights like last night we do go to nicer places. When I was in college in a South Carolina "WOW the stereotype is real!" town there was an Applebee's in town. There also was a Walmart and the big deal was when it became a Super Walmart. The nearest mall was over an hour away. But, at least the Piggly Wiggly was good. I had gone down there thinking the stereotypes were an exaggeration. Nope, I even was friendly with a kid who always had his confederate flag on him. But, Applebee's became a favorite while there.

So, we went to Applebee's as a "special night" restaurant for years. When Zach was small we were still going there. But, then the good wait staff left and the new wait staff kept screwing up my order. The temperature in Applebee's was colder too. Too cold to enjoy my meal. So, off to a new place.

Outback worked. While driving to and from school in South Carolina there was an Outback in Florence, SC. My dad and I would stop there. I really liked it. But, hated the wait! When Josh and I started going there for "special occasion" night, we got there at 5pm so there wasn't any waiting. I really liked it. Zach has mixed feelings. But, in recent months I have discovered I can't eat pork anymore. It makes me sick. No sausage, no ham, no pork, no hot dogs, no bacon, no meatballs made with meatloaf meat, nothing with pork. With one odd exception, salami doesn't make me sick. The bacon part was the problem. At home I just get turkey bacon. But, not all restaurants have turkey bacon. I like bacon on my baked potato. So, Outback wasn't going to be a good choice for us. I have other food limitations too. We decided to try TGI Friday's again last night.

It had been years since we ate at TGI Friday's. A lot of their "not hot" food is hot. After two years of college in South Carolina I transferred to as school in Pennsylvania. That school had a TGI Friday's in town. My friends and I ate there sometimes. There is also a TGI Friday's close to us here at home. Last night we decided to give Friday's a chance. Sure enough, we both ordered something with their whiskey BBQ sauce. Whiskey is strong. I liked the Whiskey Chicken. But, the taste did linger. But, it wasn't hot and sure enough within 15 minutes of dinner being done, that aftertaste faded. But, the bill was higher then Outback and Applebee's. We can still afford it. But, we are looking at a once a year place without Zach, not a place for every special occasion like birthdays. But, it was a reminder about why we stopped going to Friday's for date night.

I found myself thinking "I bet this just happens." When you are in a good marriage, you probably develop a date night routine. The restaurant might change. But, the order of events probably doesn't change much. Where we walk and when changes a little. But, our dates always include a walk, a drive, a store, and an early dinner. In recent years that also includes a stop at the grocery story for a snack. Last night, at the grocery store, I got what I needed to make blueberry chocolate chip pancakes. When I offered it, it was the first craving either of us had all day. That is why it's okay to not do a restaurant for special occasions. We all prefer my cooking anyway. Zach gets the breakfast leftovers for lunch. He is sleeping over at my parents house. We have started watching the Food Network. Zach looks at my cooking in terms of "I want you to make this for that show." He also has started asking about how long it takes to cook his favorite meals. We like the competition shows like "Chopped" and he wants me to be on one.

In July, we celebrated 21 years together. On Wednesday, we celebrate 15 years of marriage. We are 39 years old. We care more about taking walks on our dates then where we eat. Up until Zach was at my parent's house last night the meal plan was Burger King. What changed? We do Burger King for regular date nights. We wanted to find something special. I had looked at their menu and thought I saw something I could eat. I did and it was good. Josh gets teased for Burger King being our first date all of the time. I remind him that he was 18 at the time. Most 18 year old's can't afford a nicer dinner place anyway. We were out for four hours last night. About an hour and a half was spent walking. We both agreed it might very well have been our best date yet. All we needed was a beautiful night, and to drop Zach off at my parent's house at 3:45 instead of 4:00.

We all have different definitions of what we consider a great date. I think what makes a great date is the conversation. That is where you connect. When you are talking about things you have in common, thoughts you have, and what you see together. That connection is what builds a strong relationship. That is how you get to learn about the other person. Neither of us talk much while eating dinner. But, we talk a lot during those walks and that drive. Last night was my first time ever seeing what was likely a party bus. All black and tinted windows heading in the direction of a highway that takes you to New York City. That makes the most sense. A shared experience we can talk about later.