When Zach's In School

I haven't posted in a month.  I have had a lot going on. It's funny, I can't volunteer much at the middle school. In past years, I have spent most of September - December helping at Zach's elementary school. Now, I should have a lot of time on my hands. I used to get the question, "What are you going to do when you can't be at the school?" The answer to that is getting clearer.

On the second day of school Josh's twin died. He had been very sick for very long. It's very sad but, this was what was best. But, that means I doubled up on supporting Josh and helping Zach adjust to a lot of new things with middle school as well as the loss of his uncle. I haven't really addressed my own mourning about it yet. My support has been needed elsewhere.

I have had the usual kind of projects too, the heater valves needed to be replaced. Then there was when the water filled Zach's room when the heater there broke two weeks later, and other things like that. I had to put the license plates on my new car and today got the inspection sticker. That took a lot longer then it should have to find where to even get the inspection sticker.

My birthday was a week ago. I had a wonderful day and overall have been enjoying beautiful weather. I also have been lucky to have a lot of support from my family, including my parents, brother and his wife. It has made it easier to get through the hard part of the month. Nothing compares to a strong support system.

I have crocheted, a lot. I have taken a few days this month where I spent most of the day crocheting. I have a bunch of projects lined up. I finished the seasonal sarapes and am now on the monthly ruanas. I started those with September and currently am working on November. I had planned on more days like this. But, things have been coming up so I do what I can.

I have applied to be on the board for the town baseball league. Either way, I volunteered to do the snack bars, This was all set up this morning. I am excited. I had been thinking about it for a year. Last year, I started thinking about what I would do when I couldn't be at the school. This was on my list of what to consider. Something tells me I better finish the monthly ruanas before February! They take about 3- 4 hours a day over 4 days. I am personally aiming to have them done by Thanksgiving. But, I'm happy if they are done by Christmas.

It's funny how that works. You have more time then you used to. Yet, somehow, when you have time it ends up getting filled up. I originally was looking forward to being able to take things slowly. To doing less in a day and having some flexibility. I can walk almost every day now. It used to be harder to do that. Yet, I still find myself busy with surprises good and bad.

I also find myself needing my albuterol multiple times a day now. For me, I usually need it for panic attacks and exercise. But, I find myself gasping for air even though I am not exercising and wasn't thinking or doing something that caused anxiety, worry or fear. As I help Zach and Josh through their own things, I can't seem to help myself through whatever is making me struggle to breath so much and so often.

When Zach's in school, I am busy. I was looking forward to not being busy. But, important things are getting done.