Anticipation

I have spent the last few days in anticipation. I am not a patient person. I am trying to be. But, there are a lot of things we are waiting on. In one case, that's probably a good thing. Here is the list:

1. I have interviewed to be on the board of the baseball organization in town. They decided on Wednesday. I am still waiting on the emailing letting me know if I have been chosen or not. I will be running the snack bars either way. With travel ball, they tell the kids who didn't make it first. If they are doing that here, no news might be good news. 

2. Zach is going into his second day of basketball tryouts. It's the first time he is eligible for the travel team for basketball. He his excited, nervous, hopeful and bouncing between confidence and uncertainty. Tomorrow they will contact everyone and let us know if our kid made it or not. 

3. Spring travel baseball tryouts. We don't even know the dates. But, his fall ball coach, who is on the board, said they are next month in the end of season email. Zach qualifies for 10U and 11U for spring. His current group will be the 11U group. But, he started off with the 10U group. He's happy in either team but prefers 11U. 20 kids are trying out for 10U and 18 are trying out for 11U. He's practicing. But, it'll be a nervous month for both of us. 

You can probably relate to the most annoying part in all of this anticipation. I check my phone whenever it does that "email vibrate". It's almost always coupons I will never use. We all are used to being bombarded by coupons all day. Some places send multiple coupons a day (looking at you, Michael's)! It's extra frustrating when you are getting 20 emails a day, 2 are important, and none of them are the ones you actually are looking for. 

Anticipation can be a good thing. It's excitement and hope. A healthy burst of healthy hormones. We all need that sometimes. But, it doesn't quite work that way with an anxiety disorder. Something that controls your life. 

Don't get me wrong, I get that healthy hormonal rush when a light breeze is building up to a big one. One of my most calming moments is in the fall as the colored leaves flow all around me as they fall to the ground. I literally stop what I am doing and soak the moment in. Especially, on a blue sky, sunny day. 

I had been told I would hear from the baseball board by the end of the week. The president is a very busy person. She has to notify all board applicants and travel team coach applicants of their decisions. Someone will also be sending out the tryout time and location list soon. I understand why this is taking a while. But, this anticipation, combined with the anticipation of basketball tryouts, makes for a rough weekend!