The Path To A Moment

Almost three years ago I wrote the below blog post. Its one of my more personal ones. At the end, I talk about a vision I had about a future moment. The post overall is mainly about finding myself watching Zach. Trying to preserve memories of him in his every day routines. Fleeting moments that don't mean much at the time but memories I want to hold onto forever.

But, I also talked about this vision I had.

"A couple of days ago I was walking by a field in town. It's a town field for the junior league (Middle School) that does football and baseball. It was night and I decided to detour on my walk and instead go hug my parents. On the way there, I saw that field. I found myself pausing and envisioning something else. Zach, eight years from now, standing on the pitcher's mound pitching. Another vivid image. An image that ever since has made me hold on to the images I am seeing now. Playing outside will mean something different then. I will be watching then as I do now. A parent never stops watching.......and remembering."

He's started his path to that moment tonight. Tonight, he had his first ever baseball practice. It's a rookie league. No score and the coaches pitch. But, it's a start. With his asthma Zach found he doesn't like soccer or basketball. He likes watching football but hasn't shown an interest in wanting to play. A lot of kids play baseball in this town. I wanted him to have this experience. The kids who end up on that town field............most start right here.

My very smart Mom used to tell me "young kids try a lot of activities but older teenagers usually settle on just one or two they like and become more serious about them". She's right. We try to expose Zach to a lot of things now. Because when he's a teenager and finally finds that passion, I don't want him to be left behind. I quit dance when I was in middle school. I started back again three years later. Even with it as my major, I never caught up. That weighs heavy in my mind. I don't want him to be behind in something he's passionate about.

He was scared of starting baseball at first. We both had anxiety about it all day. But he felt better when he grabbed his gear!!! I felt better when I saw who his coach is! A dad I had befriended from Zach's tutoring program!!! We both relaxed and Zach loved it!!! He's started the path to that moment. A moment that could realistically happen!!!

I'm still watching Zach. Trying to remember the little moments and the big ones. Zach likes hearing the stories of those moments. He has favorites he wants us to tell him all of the time!!! He catches Josh and me watching him and says "why is everybody staring at me?" With a big smile on his face. I still watch him, It still makes me catch my breath, and it's wonderful.

http://homewithmommy-fran.blogspot.com/2013/04/watching-zach.html