I'm a quirky person. I'm proud of those quirks. I have observed the following:
1. Those who "get" me like me
2. Some people who don't "get" me still like me
3. The rest don't "get" me and don't like me
I'll take it. I'm not always easy to understand the first time. Good thing the OCD makes me more likely to repeat myself anyway. Josh jokes that he should write a "Franny to English Dictionary". We start listing what would go in it and both start laughing. I'm going to ask him to do a guest blog post on what he would put in that dictionary. Of course some of his favorites are only meant for him.
I just love his company!!! My favorite date activities include eating somewhere jeans are allowed then taking a long walk, holding hands and talking. If we have enough time after that, I like to take a drive and talk while checking out lawn decorations. We talk about a lot of things. For our entire relationship that has been what most of our dates are like. It's how we are both comfortable. Personality-wise we both have changed a lot in the last 15 years but that is one thing that has never changed. We talk about sports, family, friends, TV shows, music, current events, work, Zach, our relationship, our childhoods, what we did that day, my garden, the decorations, and basically anything we come across that we both want to talk about. Once we were talking about deer and one ran into the car during that conversation. Frankly, deer are so common hear it's like seeing a squirrel. That's a recent Frannyism that made him laugh.
Here is a story of the kind of random things that happen when we're out together. There is one house not far from here with three light up pumpkin decorations on their front steps. They are beautiful and on these drives Josh makes sure to pass them so I can see them. On one such afternoon drive I asked him to park in front of the house so I can take a picture of them. I had been trying to find them but some sales associate were confusion about the specific decorations I was describing. It turns out, the owner was right behind us when we parked and saw me take the picture. So I told her "I have been admiring these decorations for years and I have been having trouble finding them. I just was taking a picture to show what it is I am looking for. Where did you get them?" It was from the Front Gate catalog but in 2008 it had been a few years and they didn't sell them. I found something similar at Amazon. Here is the link. The pictures are from my yard.
http://www.amazon.com/Pre-Lit-Halloween-Lighted-Outdoor-Decorations/dp/B003NGMF7Y/ref=sr_1_20?s=lawn-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1381887804&sr=1-20&keywords=pumpkin+decorations
Josh had NY Giant and NY Yankee decals on his car. The husband started to talk with us about that shared interest. It was a fun experience but the kind of thing you only get from someone like me. The minute we got into that car Josh said "and that's why I married you". I was 6 weeks pregnant but did that kind of thing before I got pregnant. It's the kind of thing that mortifies my Mom but makes Josh say "life would be boring without you!"
He's probably the only guy in the world that would enjoy having a wife like me. When I get in an obsessive episode, he plays along. When I am anxious about something that might seem minor to most people, he knows what to do to help me calm down and put things in perspective.
I "get" him too. I know his methods for doing most things even though he's never said them out loud. I know WHY he does things the way he does them too. One favorite phrase I say is "just try it". It started with our wedding. I wanted him in the white vest and tie. He wanted black. I said, "just try on the white. You don't HAVE to get it but just try it on." He told me he went in planning on trying the white but getting the black. After he received compliments on the white vest and tie he decided to go for the white. He looked so handsome!
Most of my "just try it" suggestions are about his comfort. He gets hot easily so I am always on the lookout for things that would help him be more comfortable. That included sandals and sleeveless shirts. He's self-conscious about his feet and wasn't wearing sandals so I suggested finding a comfortable pair and just trying it for a little but in the store. He wore them so much that summer we had to replace them the next year. When it came to sleeveless shirts he just didn't like how big the sleeve holes were. It was all about size. He wears large shirts normally but is closer to a medium. I suggested he try the sleeveless in medium and has been thanking me for three summers now.
The last time I said "just try it" was about mock-necks. He doesn't like turtle-necks because they are tight around his neck. His winter solution was an undershirt and a sweater. He sweat all winter. I KNEW he'd be more comfortable in just a mock-neck. So I had him try on a mock-neck. I made it clear that if it wasn't comfortable we can find something else for him to wear to work that is nice but warehouse reasonable. He wears them when it's in the 50s or colder and hasn't had a winter sweating problem in years. I always make it clear that this is about his comfort so he needs to be completely honest with me about how he feels about these suggestions.
I'm not always so accurate. I got him a pair of leather gloves one year. His hands crack in the cold and I thought they would help. He said he liked them but I was observing that he only wore them when driving. I suggested a pair of knit gloves. The link is below. He wears those all the time in winter too now. That's how I know he likes these "just try it" suggestions, he uses them all the time.
http://www.target.com/p/merona-men-s-knit-smart-touch-gloves-assorted-colors/-/A-14723271#prodSlot=large_1_1
He doesn't like asking for what he needs. He doesn't want to sound like a complainer. I might be the only woman in the world, not his mother, that knows him well enough to know what he really needs and would actually use. Most of these things were gifts.
It's comforting to know that he knows me that well. It makes me feel good when I see him using these things frequently. The things I choose for him that I know he'll like and use but he hasn't even thought to ask for them. It's an amazing feeling knowing that I got it just right. He says it's an amazing feeling knowing he was the one to ease my fears and anxieties and calm my worries. He sees me obsessed over something that makes me happy and smiles a lot when he's a part of that. Even if it's just carrying the soil and hearing me talk about flowers for a while. We "get" each other. It makes marriage a lot easier. I guess it comes from all that talking on dates.
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