The Rock That Changed Me

It's an actual rock. This rock, and this is what happened:

 


It started five years ago.The soil is very dry and rocky in my garden. Whenever I go to plant in it there is at least one rock that takes a long battle. This was the first rock battle that I lost five years ago. Here is a refresher, we had moved in to the apartment that February. The same February of my third miscarriage. After that I decided to throw myself into distractions like gardening. I started planning what I wanted to plant and the original plan was eight Marigolds in the Spring, Hyacinth bulbs in September for April bloom, and three Mums.

It sounds pathetic when I look at my garden today. Yesterday I moved to the layout for Fall 7 which includes, from front to back: three dark red Mums, three yellow Mums, two light purple Daydream Asters, my light up pumpkin decorations, three yellow Marigolds, three white Begonias, one Black - Eyed - Susan, and five Marigolds (one yellow four orange). The rock was next to and a little under the purple Aster on your right.

If you get Mums and Asters with as few blooms as possible they last longer. The Asters only last 2 - 3 weeks but are worth it. The Yellow Mums are from a few weeks ago. I try to choose ones with a few buds open enough to see what color they will be but hopefully without any blooms.

But back then my plan for that year was much simpler because I was just starting to learn about gardening. So that late September day I walked to Hillcrest and got three blue Hyacinth bulbs and three pink Hyacinth bulbs. I planned on lining them up in a row alternating colors. When I got home, I arranged them above ground where I wanted them and grabbed my hand spade (shovel). It took a lot longer then I expected because of the rocks and soil texture. It's hard and tightly packed soil on top so it's not easy. I always dig the hole wider and deeper then necessary and use topsoil to help with the fertilizer and root growth. Hyacinths need to be planted at least six inches deep. That was the mistake I made last year. The only ones I planted deep enough were the white ones in the second row. The other Hyacinths started to sprout from the ground in mid-December and some didn't make it into Spring. I had to remove the dead ones. Because of that, the garden looked like this in the Spring:

When I got to digging that last hole five years ago I came across that rock. It's 10" long, 5" wide, and 3" high at it's biggest. It was a long battle that bent the tip of my spade. I felt like I was trying to remove a buried mountain. Eventually, I gave up on the idea of a perfect line and planted that bulb just a little below the rock. Then I covered them both with soil. Getting to that exact spot again by accident was extremely unlikely. The soil above the rock looked exactly like the soil around it. There was no way of knowing where that rock was. I never forgot it was there though.

But when I planted my white Hyacinths two weeks ago I found it. I started the hole in the same place and knocked into it in the same place. I remembered everything from five years ago in such detail that I know for a fact it was the same rock in the same place. I got it out this time but was surprised to come across it. I thought I was planting the bulbs further back in the garden then those original bulbs. I was able to fit two bulbs in the hole removing that rock helped create. But this is more then a coincidence.

 I have mentioned before that Zach was conceived the day I planted my first Hyacinth bulbs five years ago but I didn't talk about that rock. Because I never thought I'd see it again. I didn't talk about how during that entire battle back then I just knew that rock meant something I just wouldn't find out until Columbus Day. Instincts told me that this particular rock was more then just a rock. I had that same feeling again while digging it up two weeks ago. I just had to get it out this time, I don't know why. When it was out of the ground I felt changed. Things felt like it would never be the same. Instantly.

I believe in signs from God but I have no clue what that could mean. Five years ago I somehow knew it meant something was up ahead I just didn't know what, like I did this time. This isn't the only strange event lately. From May of 2006 - January of 2007 I worked for the Thomas Kinkade art gallery as a consultant. My co-worker, M, was about my age and about to start an internship and a career in Communications. I was trying to get pregnant.  I hadn't seen M since I left the gallery but I ran into her twice in three days the week before digging up that rock. One night she was with her husband and two kids at Carvel, arriving after us. The other time she was heading into Macy's when I was leaving. I was looking for a replacement dress to wear to my brother's wedding. Instincts told me there was a reason for running into her after all this time, twice. I don't know what that reason is yet or if it's another sign but it was more powerful then mere coincidence.

When they laid me off I decided not to send out any more resumes and just continue to work part time for Sylvan as a Tutor. Getting that job had taken 18 months and caused depression so serious I needed medication. My anxiety and fears were getting unmanageable. I wasn't going to put myself through that again and I really needed to keep stress low. My anxiety has been manageable even with the storms ever since.That layoff led to the life changing decision to be home. When I made that decision I began to wonder if this destiny was God's plan for me. It felt the way most people do when they find their perfect fit job. Just like when I met Josh and five years ago when I was fighting that rock that decision left me with this sense that God's plan is unfolding and something positive will happen soon. Could there be a connection?

My first thought went to Josh's job. His company joined with another company and moved to a new warehouse on August 1st. But he doesn't have warehouse access yet and needs to be let in to get to the cheese. His boss informed him three weeks ago that he'll be working from the base location twice a week now.

That's where all the important people in the company work. When he told me about that, my instincts told me this would be bigger then it sounds. Sure enough, right before starting to plant those bulbs two weeks ago, literally, Josh told me about an offer his boss made. After talking, he took it.

For five to seven weeks he's in charge of the people working a line, from 9pm - 5am. He has a couple of Employees already but could they be testing if he can handle more? Why do all the people above him want him where they can watch him more closely? He hasn't seen this much of his boss' boss in years. He's very respected at his job and his careful documentation has saved a lot of money from customer issues. Example: it was as it should be when it left our warehouse, here are the pictures to prove it. Could it be that they are putting him in these various situations because they have a possible promotion in mind for him and want to see if he's ready?

I don't know but my instincts are telling me this is a very good thing I just don't know what it will mean yet. Just like I don't know what that rock is supposed to be a sign of yet and I don't know why I ran into M after all this time....twice! Do you believe in signs from God? I do. That rock proved it to me once before. All I really know for sure is that when I dug that rock up I truly did feel changed ........... instantly ................ and I don't know why. God's trying to tell me something I just don't know what He's saying yet.