There is a favorite picture of my Mom holding me the day of my Baptism. I noticed that there are a lot of pictures with her holding me. We might have differing personalities but we are close. We have a kind of bond that's hard to explain. I have disappointed her with choices I have made in life and our inherited stubbornness doesn't help, but I know she loves me and there are times she has been proud of me. Being there for my big moments in life are important to her. She was in the delivery room when Zach was born.
There are four Elementary schools in my town and at the time 5th grade was the last grade before we all went to the same Middle school. Each year the 5th graders took a trip to A forest in New York State designed for these camping trips. It was February and an opportunity to get to know kids from the other Elementary schools. That is where I met Anie and a few other friends. We did all sorts of wilderness related bonding activities. My Mom took the morning we left off from work so she could be there for me when we left. Here's her story:
"I had a big meeting that day but told my boss I was going to be late. Dad could have taken you but it was going to be Moms there so it was import I be the one to take you. My boss, a man, told me to go. He had missed many big moments in his kids lives for work and understood why this was important"
That speaks volumes compared to the mentality of a lot of boss' today. I read article after article about how doing things like that gets in the way of being considered for promotions. Job flexibility is important. You can get a job done really well and on time for reasonable deadlines with flexible working hours. Some bosses apparently purposely set up near-impossible deadlines for parents for excuses to pass over them for promotions. That's according to stats I've read. I wish more bosses today were like her boss was then.
In the 5th Grade our teacher used our class pictures to make bookmarks. On them, he wrote what we said we wanted to be when we grew up. Mine says "Future Day Care Worker". It's ironic if you think about what I do today. I was just starting to be interested in babysitting. I have always loved taking care of kids and have made the study of Human Development a personal hobby. The building blocks for my destiny were slowly coming together.
I noticed my Poppop holding me in a lot of pictures too, even as I grew older. He's my Dad's Dad. He died in January of 1999 at 96 almost 97 years old. He used a cane or a walker almost all my life. The May before he had a stroke and was put in a wheelchair. Before that stroke he liked to take walks, like I do. He didn't go far and he didn't go anywhere near what would be described as "fast" but those walks were important. When my Dad talks about his relationship with Poppop from when he was a kid, he says he knew Poppop loved him but Poppop wasn't exactly a cuddly guy.
What I see in those pictures was a man who held his grand kids often and always had a big smile on his face when with his family. His wife, my Nana died when I was in the 5th grade. She was at least 10 years younger then him and was a Stay-At-Home-Mommy like me. I hope Zach talks about me with the fondness my Dad talks about Nana. Seeing those pictures again made me realize how much I miss them. Apparently, I have Nana's quirkiness and I wear that with pride!!!
As was the case with another event that happened in 1992. That year we were in Washington DC on vacation and ran into a former presidential primary candidate, Paul Tsongas (D. Mass). As I said to him "I didn't recognize you, my teacher crossed your picture out when you dropped out of the race". He smiled and laughed at that. How else do you respond to an 11 year old? I went many years after that not caring about Politics but now I follow things closely.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Tsongas
There was one picture I found that I see often but never understood. It's of me standing alone on stage as a 2 year old for the Preschool Graduation ceremony. All classes did a performance. In preschool there were no solo acts so I always wondered about that. Today my Dad said that I loved the stage and didn't understand why the other kids had left it when our song was done. That explains why my hands are on my hips in a "hey, where are you going?" gesture. You might recall that my degree is in Dance. Although, ironically, I always preferred teaching to performing. It goes back to working with kids. We had the 5th grade farewell for our 5th grade graduation that year. I didn't want to leave that school any more then the 2 year old version wanted to leave that stage.
Some of my favorite pictures are of my parents before I was born. I learned today that their first date was to a Halloween Party. My Mom was an Angel. That's my nickname for Zach, Angel. He tells people about that proudly. I didn't know that was their first date until today. Did they know it was their first step to this amazing life they live together? In 1992 my Dad started helping me take a first step with my fear of heights. As 5th grade graduation neared my anxiety about going to the Middle school heightened. You had to go up stairs to get to my 5th grade classroom but they weren't as open an the stairs at the Middle school.
It doesn't take Freud to realize the stairs were a metaphor for a lot of changes in my life at the time. I don't handle change well and it takes a very long time to adapt to the new way things are for me. Suddenly, those stairs at the Elementary school were scary to go down. I had spent three years going down them without hesitation even though I always feared heights to an extent. That was the year my fear grew to the point it effected my life and I have never been able to shake it since. That Summer my Dad took me to the Middle school so I could work on this fear before school started. He had sensed it growing and knew why.
I can't go to most second floors and only on rare occasions have been able to get higher. In college, I had to have a note from my Psychiatrist so my classes could be in rooms I could get to. Luckily, that was almost all the classrooms anyway. When we started talking about trying to get pregnant I researched the local hospitals to see which one had the lowest Maternity floor. Then I made sure my Doctor practiced from that hospital. The lowest I found was on the third floor but it was closed enough where I could do it. I was lucky, they gave me a double room so Josh slept by the window and we kept the blinds closed. I had enough "false alarms" during my time on bed rest to get plenty of practice being that high up. I needed my Dad there with me when Zach was in the hospital last year for his Asthma attack and was kept on the third floor. Josh stayed with him.
1992 was a big year for me. That same Elementary school I left that year was the one Zach had Tot Lot in last month. He was in my old Kindergarten classroom and gym. He said he's scared to go to Kindergarten even though he has another year in Preschool. A girl from the class he's going into was in Tot Lot too and talked about going to Kindergarten in September. So he looked around and wasn't impressed with the kids he'll have to make friends with next September, the grabber and the hitter weren't exactly "friend material". He looked at me like "Really? These are the kids I have to make friends with in Kindergarten? They don't do this stuff at my school". They don't do those things in his school. Going to a new school is scary.
Education is like that staircase I am so afraid of. Each grade is another step. There is a landing after High School and College where you decide if you want to keep going. You can see the rooms on those floors or explore if there is more to offer just a little bit higher. I was scared to pursue a Masters Degree after College although I did look into it and even took the GREs. My scores stunk, I have always been a bad test taker. It became an easy decision after that. I was in the midst of Wedding Planning and decided taking them again wasn't worth it. I like planning things.
I planned a walking field trip in the 5th grade. My neighbors had this beautiful garden and my teacher, Mr. Palm, was "the science guy". In Elementary school all of our teachers seemed to have a favorite subject. Mrs. Gorden in first grade was the "Phonics lady" (she's still there), Mrs Buzz in the second grade was the "reading lady", Mrs. Einstein in third grade was the "Math lady" and Mrs. Skinner in the fourth grade was the "Social Studies lady". Mrs. Skinner is a lifetime neighbor of Josh's parents so it freaks me out when he calls her "Libby". I talked to Mr. Palm about seeing their garden to learn about the different flowers. Obviously, having them for neighbors inspired my biggest hobby, Gardening. It was an awesome field trip. My Mom was so proud of me for organizing it.
It was also the year my OCD got just a little bit worse. I only ever got detention twice in school. In High School I was two minutes late to Math class after leaving Speech. Mrs. Lanno made me stay after school for those two minutes. She hated that Speech cut into the class. The other time was in the 5th grade. I had a very messy desk and Mr. Palm showed it to my parents. He made me stay after to organize it one day. My Dad told me that he told them "Fran needs to learn organization" He would be so proud to see me now! That quickly became what I called "a skill I worked hard on" but turned into an obsession. I'm so organized in fact that I got a mini-offer. The Grandma of one of Zach's Preschool friends owns an organizing business. She is so impressed that she asked if I would be a consultant if she were to need me. I said "yes". It's one of the few jobs that fit my needs and abilities. I haven't been needed yet but I'll do it if she calls.
It wasn't until the pictures today that I realized how much of my life now was connected to the 5th grade. Ironically, most of those pictures were from before the 5th grade. If you think about it, you might find a year that was pivotal in your life, you just didn't know it yet. I wonder what year that will be for Zach?
As was the case with another event that happened in 1992. That year we were in Washington DC on vacation and ran into a former presidential primary candidate, Paul Tsongas (D. Mass). As I said to him "I didn't recognize you, my teacher crossed your picture out when you dropped out of the race". He smiled and laughed at that. How else do you respond to an 11 year old? I went many years after that not caring about Politics but now I follow things closely.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Tsongas
There was one picture I found that I see often but never understood. It's of me standing alone on stage as a 2 year old for the Preschool Graduation ceremony. All classes did a performance. In preschool there were no solo acts so I always wondered about that. Today my Dad said that I loved the stage and didn't understand why the other kids had left it when our song was done. That explains why my hands are on my hips in a "hey, where are you going?" gesture. You might recall that my degree is in Dance. Although, ironically, I always preferred teaching to performing. It goes back to working with kids. We had the 5th grade farewell for our 5th grade graduation that year. I didn't want to leave that school any more then the 2 year old version wanted to leave that stage.
Some of my favorite pictures are of my parents before I was born. I learned today that their first date was to a Halloween Party. My Mom was an Angel. That's my nickname for Zach, Angel. He tells people about that proudly. I didn't know that was their first date until today. Did they know it was their first step to this amazing life they live together? In 1992 my Dad started helping me take a first step with my fear of heights. As 5th grade graduation neared my anxiety about going to the Middle school heightened. You had to go up stairs to get to my 5th grade classroom but they weren't as open an the stairs at the Middle school.
It doesn't take Freud to realize the stairs were a metaphor for a lot of changes in my life at the time. I don't handle change well and it takes a very long time to adapt to the new way things are for me. Suddenly, those stairs at the Elementary school were scary to go down. I had spent three years going down them without hesitation even though I always feared heights to an extent. That was the year my fear grew to the point it effected my life and I have never been able to shake it since. That Summer my Dad took me to the Middle school so I could work on this fear before school started. He had sensed it growing and knew why.
I can't go to most second floors and only on rare occasions have been able to get higher. In college, I had to have a note from my Psychiatrist so my classes could be in rooms I could get to. Luckily, that was almost all the classrooms anyway. When we started talking about trying to get pregnant I researched the local hospitals to see which one had the lowest Maternity floor. Then I made sure my Doctor practiced from that hospital. The lowest I found was on the third floor but it was closed enough where I could do it. I was lucky, they gave me a double room so Josh slept by the window and we kept the blinds closed. I had enough "false alarms" during my time on bed rest to get plenty of practice being that high up. I needed my Dad there with me when Zach was in the hospital last year for his Asthma attack and was kept on the third floor. Josh stayed with him.
1992 was a big year for me. That same Elementary school I left that year was the one Zach had Tot Lot in last month. He was in my old Kindergarten classroom and gym. He said he's scared to go to Kindergarten even though he has another year in Preschool. A girl from the class he's going into was in Tot Lot too and talked about going to Kindergarten in September. So he looked around and wasn't impressed with the kids he'll have to make friends with next September, the grabber and the hitter weren't exactly "friend material". He looked at me like "Really? These are the kids I have to make friends with in Kindergarten? They don't do this stuff at my school". They don't do those things in his school. Going to a new school is scary.
Education is like that staircase I am so afraid of. Each grade is another step. There is a landing after High School and College where you decide if you want to keep going. You can see the rooms on those floors or explore if there is more to offer just a little bit higher. I was scared to pursue a Masters Degree after College although I did look into it and even took the GREs. My scores stunk, I have always been a bad test taker. It became an easy decision after that. I was in the midst of Wedding Planning and decided taking them again wasn't worth it. I like planning things.
I planned a walking field trip in the 5th grade. My neighbors had this beautiful garden and my teacher, Mr. Palm, was "the science guy". In Elementary school all of our teachers seemed to have a favorite subject. Mrs. Gorden in first grade was the "Phonics lady" (she's still there), Mrs Buzz in the second grade was the "reading lady", Mrs. Einstein in third grade was the "Math lady" and Mrs. Skinner in the fourth grade was the "Social Studies lady". Mrs. Skinner is a lifetime neighbor of Josh's parents so it freaks me out when he calls her "Libby". I talked to Mr. Palm about seeing their garden to learn about the different flowers. Obviously, having them for neighbors inspired my biggest hobby, Gardening. It was an awesome field trip. My Mom was so proud of me for organizing it.
It was also the year my OCD got just a little bit worse. I only ever got detention twice in school. In High School I was two minutes late to Math class after leaving Speech. Mrs. Lanno made me stay after school for those two minutes. She hated that Speech cut into the class. The other time was in the 5th grade. I had a very messy desk and Mr. Palm showed it to my parents. He made me stay after to organize it one day. My Dad told me that he told them "Fran needs to learn organization" He would be so proud to see me now! That quickly became what I called "a skill I worked hard on" but turned into an obsession. I'm so organized in fact that I got a mini-offer. The Grandma of one of Zach's Preschool friends owns an organizing business. She is so impressed that she asked if I would be a consultant if she were to need me. I said "yes". It's one of the few jobs that fit my needs and abilities. I haven't been needed yet but I'll do it if she calls.
It wasn't until the pictures today that I realized how much of my life now was connected to the 5th grade. Ironically, most of those pictures were from before the 5th grade. If you think about it, you might find a year that was pivotal in your life, you just didn't know it yet. I wonder what year that will be for Zach?
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