1. And the frat party continues! The only day Zach didn't throw up was Monday. I had my sickest day yesterday and am still being careful with eating. For Zach between 3 and 3:30pm seems to be his trigger. Hummm. If only he would make it to the toilet in time!
2. Yesterday, for comfort, I put in my two favorite movies. The NY Giants Super Bowl Champions DVDs for SBs 42 and 46. I felt like a good emotional journey. Most husbands would be weirded out by that or laugh. Josh shrugged his shoulders.
3. Zach's favorite saying: "yeah, that's a good idea!" He's serious. Today it was because he wanted ice cream from "the ice cream store near Stop and Shop". For us that means Carvel. It's my favorite ice cream too. But this brought me back to his 12 week ultrasound. The one where we found out he is a boy. He wasn't cooperating for the technician so I said "if you cooperate Mommy will get you some ice cream" I don't know their hearing abilities at that stage but he cooperated right away and right after we got our ice cream........from Carvel. That's also when he went from being "the baby" to being "Zach". It's a special memory for me and was fun to relive.
4. Josh is always complaining because I always stay up later then him. Early in the relationship he was the night owl but because of his work hours, waking at 5am, he just can't stay up late. He tries though. Last night, after sleeping basically most of the day since I got sick at 2am, I went to bed at 9:45 so he got to stay up late. I reminded him that that's the only way he'd get to stay up later then me. He folded laundry. We really needed the laundry done but I was so sick it wasn't going to happen. Josh did it like he did when I was pregnant. THAT'S being a FANTASTIC husband.
5. When I first threw up Josh came running into the bathroom. My response "it's my turn". There are many things that are wonderful about family but I prefer hugs to germs. My biggest concern is all the days Zach has thrown up even a little. It feels like there is no end in sight! Poor kid!
6. My parents took Zach all day yesterday so I could take care of myself. Zach thanked them by throwing up on my Mom's bed right after nap. They took him to the doctor for me. His doctor was mine so it must have been deja vuish for them. Especially since 3 year old Zach looks like 3 year old Hugh. I am so lucky to have them! It didn't help that at some point in the afternoon I had cell phone issues. Verizon must have been doing wire repairs.
7. I need to get out of here.........badly! But the weather hasn't been welcoming so even a short walk wasn't going to happen.
8. My garden is one giant mud pile. My poor, still budding too early, Hyacinths! To get the fire alarm in the basement under us to stop going off randomly the Super set up a pipe to drain that water out. It didn't used to make it as far as my garden but there has been SO MUCH rain lately it's drowning my bulbs. I'll be planting new ones in September.
9. Good Housekeeping came today! Yay! They moved my favorite recipe section, the "healthy in a hurry" section is now "weekday meals" and still quick but they no longer claim to be healthy. It's still similar though so it's still healthy.
10. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate Christmas! Zach saw me wrapping some presents for my mom and wanted one. My mom was going to give him a Christmas book. He only wanted it if I wrapped it for him first. My Mom's birthday is November 18th, the same as Josh's Mom, and her gift every year is I wrap her Christmas gifts for her. I can see what Christmas morning is going to be like.
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11. My Mom used to say one piece of advice that stunk for sibling rivalry purposes but turns out to be great for marriage..........."ignore him he'll go away". I have found both as a sister and a wife it has the opposite effect. It's important to spent time away from your spouse pursuing your own interests. If you loose your personal identity, resentment kicks in and the marriage weakens. I miss Josh every day. He's been in bed for an hour and I miss him already! We will always be there for each other. Neither of us will "go away". That's because when we start to nitpick little things we "go away" (spend time apart) reminding us what we love about each other while doing our own things.
I finally had a dream to bring me peace:
I dreamt that the family upstairs moved out and we moved into their apartment but kept ours. Up there, in the dream, there is a crack separating the two bedrooms and the bathroom from the living room. Josh and I sleep in the living room. The second bedroom remains empty. The bedrooms are too small for two people. Some of the furniture is different. The next day, Zach comes home from school and heads for our current apartment. We decide to stay here.
The apartment upstairs is also a two bedroom apartment. What that dream confronts is my recent conflict between a big life change and staying the same. I love things the way they are. Zach recently finished a growth spurt so his favorite new "toy" is finding out what new things he can reach now both with and without a stool.
I'm not ready for a big life change right now. Things are comfortable. I don't need more in my life now. It took so long to get Zach I think part of my desire to try for a second is fear that it will take that long again. As with everything I trust that God will bless us with a second when ready. I laugh at the irony that I often refer to God here but haven't been to church since Zach's baptism at three months old! I am one of those people that says "I love you" to loved ones frequently. I will be saying it a lot this week. The grass isn't usually greener on the other side. This grass looks gorgous!
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