Changes

Last Monday, the 17th was my birthday. I am now 32. Last night we celebrated with my family. That includes our Indian friends mentioned in last years birthday post. As usual my Mom made a fantastic dinner and I enjoyed everything. It was also a gorgeous day. It was as close to the perfect day I can remember since my Wedding and Zach's birth. God's gift was such a beautiful day. A chance to appreciate nature's beauty.

I started the week feeling like the best Mommy in the world. You might remember a post where I mentioned Zach is into Transformers:Rescue Bots but that there where three impossible to find. Amazon had all three for $15 each. They are now in Zach's room. As of today he has the complete set. Amazon clearly is getting in toys for Christmas and these were in limited quantities.

I have been bonding with my Mom over these special "Mommy Superstar" moments. Of course I unknowing ruined hers. When the Cabbage Patch Kids first came out she knew they would be big so she ordered me one. We celebrate the 12 days so when it came in shortly after Christmas she planned on making it at 12 day gift. But I had gotten a Cabbage Patch Kid knockoff that I named Tina and she was my favorite. So my mom gave the Cabbage Patch kid to charity. Tina was my "baby" in High School when we did the Family health class and had to practice parenthood. I still feel guilty for my mom having gotten that doll, even though I never asked for one.

I never have been the kind of person to do what was popular because it is popular or want the popular things. As a kid that meant being alienation and low self esteem. I still have low self esteem but have grown comfortable with myself. Thanks to Josh, I don't feel embarrassed because what I like is different. I might embarrass some people but that's their problem, not mine.

Two changes I have mentioned recently are really renewed old changes. Gardening and Good Housekeeping. This is where the OCD takes over. I have talked about permanent changes I have made like planting Pachysandra and a Forsythia bush but there is more. This week I planted 20 Hyacinth bulbs for an early Spring bloom. While waiting for them to come in, I bought myself another Aster on my Birthday. It's a gift I wanted to give myself.

My garden is full. Marigolds usually are at the end of their bloom by now, mid April through mid September, but there are still new buds on mine. I guess I'm doing a great job with them. I pushed them to the back when my plan for three Mums turned into five and when I didn't plan on any Asters and ended up with three of those. My beautiful garden is in layers complete with my light up pumpkins. I even have a neighbor who said she wishes the decoration pumpkins were more visible. One Mum is in front of the Forsythia which is starting to loose it's leaves as it's supposed to. In April I'll plant Day Lilies (Stella D' Ore) in front of the Forsythia. It'll bloom after the Forsythia and on my walk I see that some are still in bloom. Next year I'll only need four Mums. One Mum I got early in the month because it was just too pretty. The other mums I got mostly unbloomed so they would last longer. Of course Mums and Asters start to die after the first frost. I'm addicted to that Nursery and it's on my morning walk and so pretty in there! I can't stop myself from getting Zach the mini pumpkins.

We have six pumpkins outside but squirrels eat them so I have six inside to replace them along the way. One has a small nibble bite already. My hope is that the pumpkins will last through November since the flowers won't. Then the garden with have real and light up pumpkins filling the space. But there aren't any seasonal plants for Winter, only evergreens and I need seasonal. Come the end of February sometimes the Hyacinth leaves start peaking out of the ground. But all I really have is four light up snowflakes.

This is where yesterday was even closer to perfect. For my birthday I got a Target gift card and some money. So we went to target. I got spares of my window lights for each season. They had started putting out the Christmas lights already. So I treated myself to a box of light up pine with pine cone yard decorations. It's a set of three. The Winter garden will be beautiful too and fuller. I even got pink lights for summer for a tropical look. I usually use green but the pink is better. I still have a reasonable amount of money left over.

There also is cooking. I finalized my warm and cold weather menus with a catch, Sundays are now "Good Housekeeping" days. I love the "Healthy in a Hurry" recipes they have and spent hours on Saturday trying to find more of those types of recipes online. Unfortunately, they are mixed in and not labels as being from that section of the magazine. A good recipe is a good recipe though. We used to do Family Dinner with my parents on Sundays but when my brother got his own apartment he wanted to do during the week like we do in the warm weather. We have been joining my parents on Sundays in the colder months anyway. So I made my mom an offer, they come here for Good Housekeeping night when I make Good Housekeeping recipes either new or previously tried unless Hugh wants to join us for family dinner. It'll be a week by week discussion but she likes the recipes I mentioned. She still gets the extra Zach visit without the cooking. With Zach in school so much now both my parents have commented on seeing him less. I have a bunch of recipes I want to try. This is something I really am looking forward to

I have also noticed internal changes too. I used to have certain views on things. One example is marriage. I used to feel like everyone should want marriage but there are some personalities that aren't made for marriage. One example: If you always have to have your way, then marriage isn't going to work for you. Everyone's needs are different and what works for someone won't work for everyone. I used to not understand how someone can decide they never want to get married but I do now. I have always been curious about human development. That interest started when I held my brother for the first time and hasn't gone away. I can't picture myself single and dating. Maybe that's because in three weeks Josh and I will be married for eight years and together for 14. This is the life I've always wanted. I thank God often for the blessings in my life.

That's something we should all do in our own way, show how grateful we are for the blessings in our lives no matter what those blessings are. I pray because I'm Episcopalian but we should all find some way to show that appreciation. I know there are some people who are never satisfied, always complaining. But that's the way they have chosen to live their lives so it's important for the rest of us to respect that. For the rest of us that are happy, thinking of these blessings are only a good thing.

 I won't mention all of them again but hopefully this will get you started (not in any order of preference):

1. Zach
2. Josh
3. My family (all of them)
4. My beautiful home
5. My beautiful neighborhood and town
6. My Friends
7. My Garden
8. My Decorations
9. The Yankees, Giants, Devils, Knicks and Red Bulls
10. A beautiful day

I like who I'm becoming. I get lots of compliments on my home inside and out. I'm surrounded by love. I can appreciate people more now that I better understand our differences and the paths we all take to get there. Everyone's life experiences and education are different and that leads to different decisions. I enjoy learning about these paths we all take to end up in these different places. I am appreciating human development on another level.

When I take all these walks I mentioned in the "Exercise vs Appointments" post I am walking around where I grew up. I pass by the Nursery where I get my plants and my mom gets hers. I used to go with her each Spring. I walk by the general store that is a local landmark and full of memories and I walk by my elementary school. I also stop by my parents house for a kiss and to help with small things, and I walk either by or through the park I played in as a kid and Zach still plays in. And that's just my morning walk!!!

The family walk takes us to the High School where Josh and I met after passing a town restaurant that's full of family night out memories (and yummy Calamari) and so much more. Along the way I run into people I know from before or through these walks. These places have been a part of my life, always. We moved to this town when I was three almost four (my Mom was pregnant) but my old house is within walking distance too so all of this has literally always been a part of my life.

As I walk these paths I walk through my life and the memories of different stages I have been through while at these places and walking on these sidewalks. My half hour walk takes me past Elm. On moving day I was in my Aunt Clare's car talking about the move while driving on Elm. I was sitting next to a banner for my room called "F is For". I think about that sometimes while taking this walk. These sidewalks have seen my whole life and will probably see me change more. We all change in time. Here's the important part, I'm happy with the many blessings in my life.