Before I start I need to make one thing clear, there is nothing wrong with Burger King once a week or less. Even my nutritionist says BK is fine for a friday night dinner. This isn't about judging someone for being a bad mom because she fed her kids fast food. It's something worse..........
A few weeks ago Josh and I were in Burger King for date night. We saw a woman alone with three small kids (youngest 1, oldest 4) in the play section. So far nothing to complain about. But then the boy, the 4 year old, had to go to the bathroom. She took him, and left the 3 and 1 year old girls alone at the table. What's wrong with this picture?
I used to work at a teacher's store that had a train table set up by the register. Too many parents left their kids to play while shopping but assumed we would babysit so they didn't pay attention to the kids. In fact, one family let there kids play while they went to a whole different store in the plaza. I've got news for you parents, the employees are not responsible for what happens to your kids, they aren't babysitters. If I am needed in the back of the store to help a customer, your S.O.L. for child care. Do you know what can happen to kids when they are left in a public place unsupervised?
It's called being stolen with the risk of many other very bad fates befalling them. Usually, kidnapping and murder sometimes with a little sexual activity thrown in there. These very young kids can't defend themselves so they do what the adult who took them tell them too, especially if they know the adult. Yes, I've read too many child abduction articles recently, because it happens. A lot of these are done on the by a stepparent but there are others done by neighbors and strangers. Sweet innocent lives taken, because they weren't being watched.
But it's important to give kids freedom too. It's impossible to literally keep an eye on your child/children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until they are off to college. It's healthy even for them to have independence time. I don't have answers. Zach's window is on the first floor facing the parking lot, I can't open them when his door will be closed because he could be stolen. It's a shame since some nights it's beautiful and the window would be more pleasant then his fan. I give him freedom while we are at home but am inconclusive about what age outside the home is safe.
There is a family in Brooklyn who thought they knew the answer to that and were very very wrong. But their logic in letting Leiby Kletzky walk home that day made sense. It is a close and safe neighborhood, He was familiar with the streets, they did a dry run with him, the values of the neighborhood were religion based. I probably would have made the same choice given the circumstances. Now every parent is thinking about when that freedom is okay.
Every parent but that Burger King mom who left those small kids at a table. If they were taken, yes other patrons would have noticed and called the cops but then she would have been questioned and possibly arrested for child endangerment. I get it, three kids are hard to handle on your own but if one needs to use the bathroom, they all go with you. Food can be replaced, the kids can't be.
A great example of this was in JC Penny yesterday. Zach was using the bathroom when a rowdy group of two adults and four kids came in. One was five but the others were younger. We were with my mom and she pointed out that if the bathrooms were next to each other she probably would have let the five year old use the mens' room but this was safer. It's true, it probably had been a while since that five year old used the ladies' room but a younger kid had to go too so this was in his best interest. He had been commenting on the bathroom he prefered to use. Just like this one mom at the store who would frequently call to her son while shopping and make him call back so she could keep track of him.
I am lucky to have Zach. I've started to give him more freedom in that there is more space between us but that's because if he gets too far away for my comfort, he listens when I ask him to stop and wait for me. I want to give him freedom that is age appropriate yet safety conscious. We were appauled by the age of those kids and what she did but when we expressed concern she blew it off like it's no big deal. If an attemped kidnapping occured (which does happen in public places like that) and she had been arrested for child endangerment, maybe she would have thought differently. Parenting is tiring especially with three but if you let your guard down, you are risking your child's life and safety. One dad in NY learned that recently when he went to check on his four year old daughter and found her in a neighbor's apartment, both of them naked. He had left her for five minutes and only saw her calling to him through a window.
Are you the mom and Burger King or the mom at JC Penny?
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