Still Not Enough

For 8 - 10 years now my mom has volunteered at a nonprofit center for infants and toddlers. She has a big and giving heart. She spends her Wednesdays trying to help struggling very poor mother's get what they need for their babies and toddlers.

When she talks about how things are set up for them to take, I have one thought. It's still not enough! What do these mothers do when this runs out?" You see, it's a small charity with a small space. These mothers and fathers are only allowed in once every three months. They can get basics like diapers. But, they don't get full giant boxes of diapers. They get a small percentage of what their baby will actually use. They have to provide a lot of paperwork that shows they are poor. Most do receive government assistance even with jobs as well as live in shelters. Even with multiple places like this nonprofit to help, it's still not enough.

My mom advertises that she volunteers there on facebook groups. She gets a large amount of cloths and toys. They only have a small section for those things in the actual place. After all, it's priorities are diapers, wipes, formula, toiletries, and other bare bones basics. My dad spends a lot of his time fixing these toys up.

He will break a train set into three smaller train sets so three little boys can get train sets, for example. He will also clean them and put in fresh batteries. He too has a big and giving heart. Lately, Zach has spent a lot of time helping him. Zach enjoys making these things nice for kids that don't have many toys. But, it's still not enough.

There is one dignity that gets forgotten as we pack up things our kids won't use anymore and leave them at the door of someone just like my mother. A privilege we get to have that these families will never have.

Choice

These moms doing the donating get to choose these items in the first place. These things are to their style. These kids get to wear them brand new fresh from the rack. They get to have their diapers changed right away. They have options.

While poor kids have to wear that old diaper a little longer. The fewer the changes, the longer the supply lasts. It must be uncomfortable. But, because it is still not enough, they have to be uncomfortable a lot longer then the kids who's parents can provide enough. These parents don't have choices. They can take from what is there. But, that rarely means a choice. Often ending up with something they would never choose if they had enough money to make the choice.

This is something that will likely always be part of their lives. Because poverty tends to stick for generations. Being uncomfortable becomes what life is. Never getting to choose becomes life. Never having enough of what you need and having to suffer to make things last longer. The alternative is joining a gang and selling drugs to make a living large enough to provide enough.

We are all taught to find a way to work with what we have. Make it last longer. But, there is a difference. See, most people start with enough to begin with. Poor people, don't. Not enough diapers, not enough food, used cloths, and fewer showers. That's right, fewer showers. Because you can get that bottle of shampoo to last twice as long if you only shower every other day. Something most people would never even think about.

So, when I contribute to this nonprofit, I try to provide enough. My mom isn't always great at that. I've donated a bunch of times take and toss sippy cups. They come in four packs. My mom breaks it open and lets these mothers each take one. ONE!!! Look, our income isn't that much better then that of those who qualify for this nonprofit's help. But, we had a bunch for Zach because he used more then one in a day. One is never going to be enough! Even two still isn't enough!

Two years ago I made winter hats for them. One in each size all gender neutral. Because that meant kids of all sizes could find a hat. Last year, I made a girl blanket and a boy blanket. Both big enough for the beds in the shelter. Toddler sized. This year, I donated yarn sets.

There is this "just take one" extras table. Most people would donate yarn and the person receiving it could choose one. That means they could make a hat. But, even the Red Heart Supersaver yarn I use can get expensive for big projects. It's a cheaper yarn to start but out of budget reach for some. So, I made these sets with spare yarn. I bagged multiple left over balls of same and matching colors. Enough to make sweaters, blankets, or a  few smaller things. Enough to make a difference!

My mom says they are always surprised they can take the whole bag. When she tried to break a bag up into two smaller bags once, I scolded her for it. Finally! something was enough! The world these families live in is a world of still not enough no matter how many different places they go to. My goal is always to donate enough. So, the person who gets it, gets enough of something!

Still not enough. Most people don't think about what that means. Don't think about the basics poor people simply can't afford. Most people can afford the necessities but cut corners on the "would be nice" things. But, there are families that no matter what still don't have enough of the basics they need. My heart breaks for them. Because I know these parents want their babies to get enough fresh diapers to always be comfortable. They want their babies to be able to eat when hungry and not have to wait longer to stretch the jarred food out. They want to be able to provide enough. Without being looked at disapprovingly.

It's a different world. We have never had to make these severe sacrifices. But, some of the basics we have had to do. I used to only be able to afford one haircut a year. Now, I get two. Think about that. Have you ever had the thought "we need that $65 in our budget so I'll just get one haircut a year."? I didn't think so. That experience, and others like it, have made me sensitive to what life must genuinely be like for these families. For these parents.

The nonprofit is working with what they have, They want to send everyone away with a large enough diaper supply to last three months. But, they simply don't have the stock to do that. They want to provide enough food and shampoo and toothpaste for three months for everyone. But, they don't have the stock to do that. No matter how much help they give, it's still not enough. It never will be enough. Because limited resources for charities means limited resources for recipients. Even combining these charities with jobs, it's still not enough.

Yes, it's nice to get the cloths and toys out of your house. Comfortable families think like that "win-win! I get rid of it and someone who doesn't have many toys or cloths gets it!" The reality is, these moms are forgetting about the basics they always provided for their kids. The basics the moms going to these charities are desperate for. Because whatever is in their arms when they leave, still isn't enough for meeting their basic needs for a long enough time period.