Monday, December 17, 2018

More Then Christmas (Part 3 - Joy)

We easily get consumer minded at this time of year. So, I am doing a blog series over the next four weeks on things to think about. Positive things as the year comes to a close. These are the four things the advent candles stand for. But, you don't have to be Christian to appreciate them.

As an Episcopalian I celebrate Advent. It's the four weeks before Christmas. Each week has a different meaning. I talked about them in a blog series years ago. "Forgotten Holidays: Advent".

https://homewithmommy-fran.blogspot.com/2014/12/forgotten-holidays-advent-part-4.html

1. Hope
2. Peace or Preparation
3. Joy
4. Love

http://www.stjohns-saginaw.org/advent-wreaths-arnt-just-for-church/

Joy:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/joy

joy

noun                        
\ˈjȯi
\                       

Definition of joy 

(Entry 1 of 2)

1a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight
b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety

2 : a state of happiness or felicity : bliss

3 : a source or cause of delight



joy
verb

joyed; joying; joys


Definition of joy (Entry 2 of 2)


: to experience great pleasure or delight : rejoice


 
1 archaic : gladden

2 archaic : enjoy


I used to think joy was just another word for "happiness". But, this article from Psychology Today has a different approach.

https://healthpsychology.org/is-there-a-relationship-between-happiness-and-joy/

Is There a Relationship Between Happiness and Joy? 
Yes and No.  Joy is something that lasts. Happiness is something that is temporary.  Joy is an inner, conscious belief.  Happiness is external. Something people may feel for a short time, for example, when they buy something that they desire. Joy brings with it a feeling of contentment when someone is in the middle of a life storm. Happiness is not present in a life storm. A persons genetic baseline level of happiness is fixed on the personality style in which they were born and can increase over time. People can receive the internal feeling consistent joy by practicing the behaviors and techniques.

I find that to be very insightful. Some of the things I consider as bringing me joy might actually just be happiness. So, I'll do a happiness or joy test on some.

Zach's Smile: To me, this is joy. Because I think about it all of the time whether he is around or not.

Family Dinners: Happiness, because while I enjoy them, the effects do go away.

Family: Joy, because I am around family often and think of family often.

Cooking: Happiness, because I take pride in my meals but, eventually, dinner is done.

Helping those who need it: Joy because long after I smile thinking about how grateful I was to be able to help.

Crocheting or Knitting: Happiness, because it is just temporary.

Walking outside: Joy, because that feeling lingers.

Watching Zach play sports: Joy, because he's always my favorite.


The article talks more about joy and happiness separately.

How People Try to Be Joyful

Being joyful requires feeling connected to other people in life, with nature, by appreciating the arts, and it requires an acceptance of life, as it is, in the present. Sometimes life does not treat us well, financial devastation, becoming ill, a divorce, developing a chronic illness, becoming disabled, death of a loved one, or adapting to growing older. These transitions or challenges are all aspects of life, and we all will experience them in varying degrees until the day we die. Some believe that joy is a conscious commitment to be happy, to have a sense of contentment for the moment, despite life’s challenges. Joy is an internal lasting emotional condition.

When someone experiences joyfulness, physiological and biochemical alterations occur that encourage a sense of well-being, completely altering the negative views of life. Joy is an attitude or a belief, which soothes even in the most sorrowful of situations. Joy comes from within; it is an internal view.  Joy  in the Biblical context, is not an emotion. It is not based on something positive happening in life, but is an attitude of the heart or spirit.

There is evidence that suggests having a religious belief helps people cope with the stresses and strains of life. Therefore, to answer the question is there a relationship between happiness and joy, in the Biblical sense is no. Happiness is not the emotion that many strive to find and keep, this emotion is joy. No one is happy all of the time, but some are more content and at peace.

Studies on what makes people happy reveal that it does not have much to do with material goods or high achievement. Joy seems to be related to ones’ outlook on life and the quality of relationships, along with having the ability to give and receive. Joy is much more…..

How People Try to Be Happy

Studies have found that acquiring money, education, a big house or an expensive car do not affect happiness levels as much as we would like or might expect. Many different types of researchers have studied those who win the lottery and have found year after year, that people who have won are no happier than those who did not have this experience. This phenomenon is called hedonistic adaptation and suggest that everyone has a baseline level of the happiness emotion. The effects of happiness are temporary, and people tend to revert to their baseline level after they have received something external or materialistic in nature. These baseline levels of happiness vary and can be attributed in part to genetics as shown by researchers who study the different temperaments of infants. However, there are techniques and behaviors that people can practice to increase the baseline level, and attitudes can be adjusted because challenges along the way can be viewed as being opportunities to learn and grow. Enjoying a high quality of life does not depend as much on money and material comfort as people might believe, because worldly comforts merely fulfill a desire for the temporary feeling of happiness.

So, happiness is what you feel from material things, like when a package arrives but joy is what you experience being with loved ones, nature, and when you connect spiritually. It's finding pleasure in something deeper. I'm going to review my list from above.

Zach's Smile: To me, this is joy. Because I think about it all of the time whether he is around or not.

Family Dinners: Happiness, because while I enjoy them, the effects do go away.

Family: Joy, because I am around family often and think of family often.

Cooking: Happiness, because I take pride in my meals but, eventually, dinner is done.

Helping those who need it: Joy because long after I smile thinking about how grateful I was to be able to help.

Crocheting or Knitting: Happiness, because it is just temporary.

Walking outside: Joy, because that feeling lingers.

Watching Zach play sports: Joy, because he's always my favorite.


Maybe all of this is joy. Because what I love about family dinners is connecting with my family. What I love about cooking is making favorites for those I love. What I enjoy about crocheting and knitting is knowing what I make will be appreciated.

So, if all of these bring me joy? What brings me happiness?


A package arriving.

Getting something seasonal or monthly even if that means replacing a shirt

DVDs of favorite shows.

Things I have made that are season and monthly like the hats and wraps project.


Joy is good for your soul. It helps calm you down and reduces stress. Less stress is better for your physical and mental health. To me, joy is easy to find. Just list what you are grateful for. Not the stuff you are grateful for. The people, places, and arts that you are grateful for.



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