To control my anxieties I am obsessed with organizing everything by month and season. About a month ago I took on a crochet project to do just that. Make a blanket for each season. Each blanket has three colors, one to represent each month in that season.
It's a compulsion that each blanket has to be made with the same brand and type of yarn. But, it makes sense to me and would bother me if something was different. This project requires a lot of yarn. So, I went with the Red Heart supersaver yarn. You can find it in many places and in many colors. It's also inexpensive.
The fall blanket is complete. The primary color, which is half the blanket, is gold for September. The other two are pumpkin orange for October and brown for November. I started the summer blanket too. The primary color is a bright yellow for July. Neon orange is for June and a lime green is for August. The spring blanket will feature a light blue for April as the primary color. A nice honeydew green is for March and a light pink is for May. Pictures are below.
Winter is the hardest on many levels. This is where the "disorder" part kicks in. It's almost the cause of the project to begin with. I tend to get depression in the winter. So I am always trying to find adult appropriate comfort objects. These blankets are supposed to fit that category. Something to grip. Something to snuggle under. Something to play with when I'm fidgety. That last part will make more sense when you see the pictures below.
But, winter is proving to be a lot more stressful then it should be. The main color is the biggest problem. Why? Because two versions of a yellow are the main colors for summer and fall and the other main color is a shade of blue. Okay that works. Gemstone colors are nice for winter. Navy is like a sapphire so January is covered. I went with a burgundy that looks like garnet for December and a amethyst purple for February. My research found that amethyst is the February birthstone.
So, what was the problem with the navy yarn? Not the color. The biggest issue is the texture. Occasionally, the supersaver yarn will have a skein that is rough. four skeins in the same color could all have different textures. I went through several skeins until I found enough that are reasonable. Even then, I am expecting more today. Hopefully, one will be soft enough to use instead of the slightly rougher one I have here.
Most of the time, this type of yarn is on the softer side. It is acrylic so it's not ultra soft. But, it's soft enough for a blanket. Occasionally you get a color that comes in different variations of rough. I contacted the company with this concern. In red is the email I got back.
Thank you for your recent inquiry. We were sorry to learn that you had experienced difficulty with our Red Heart® Super Saver® Yarn.
In the past, we were able to purchase all fibers used to manufacture our yarns from a single manufacturer. That manufacturer is no longer producing fiber for use in consumer products such as our yarn. Consequently, we are now purchasing 100% Virgin Acrylic fiber (not reprocessed acrylic) from several fiber producers. The fibers available today have to be processed differently and unfortunately they do not always spin equally.
Dye or color can also influence the thickness of the yarn. Variegated yarns and prints require much more processing than solid colors, and this additional processing can alter the texture.
We do maintain strict quality control standards at each of our mills to ensure that only the highest quality merchandise reaches our consumers. Please be assured that Coats & Clark continually endeavors to find solutions to the problems created by the fiber change and processing procedures.
I'm not surprised by this. You can feel the difference rubbing it against your cheek. But, it has made this blanket harder to work on. Every second I work on it I obsess over the texture. Okay, it's a little rougher then the other two blankets I started. They are a little rough themselves. As long as I can sleep under it without a sheet I am good.
Sometimes it's soft enough where I know I'll be okay. Other times it's too rough and I find myself trying to think of other colors that fit the rules I set for myself. One for each month, the primary must be a shade of blue. It must be supersaver yarn as well.
What I really need is a lot of older yarn in this color. The softer yarn made by the old place. But, between the Red Heart website, Amazon, AC Moore, and Michael's I am barely piecing enough skeins for what I have. I need 6 regular sized skeins.
There it is. The anxiety has built up. It's like the vest debate I had in May. So I am going to do what worked then. I am going to just type all of my thoughts. Some will make sense. Some won't. But, by getting them all out I can get to the truth.
It's rough. I'm touching it now. But, I think it's good enough for my purpose. I have placed it on top of me a bunch of times now. I have it on me as I type this. What is it I really want?
I really want this blanket to work. Maybe this is less about the yarn and more about the season itself. I am rarely comfortable in the winter. I am always achy from the weight of the extra clothing and/or blankets I need. I spend the season searching for comfort. Is that the real reason I question the comfort of this blanket? Am I holding it to a higher standard then the other seasons?
Winter is when I need comfort the most. This is supposed to be a comfort object. Are my expectations reasonable? It's a blanket. It won't solve my problems. But, blankets are supposed to provide comfort. Is it comfortable?
At the moment, it's itchy under the sensitive skin of my upper arms. But stroking the middle with my hands feel nice and comforting. I'd rather not wash it. Even though that would soften it. Because it effects the yarn itself.
What I really want is to solve this dilemma. Because I don't want to spend the winter questioning if it's too hard or too soft to lay under without a sheet in the middle.
I have thought about other colors. I have a nice pink for February and the purple is nice that I am using now. That purple with a cherry red is nice too. But, there isn't a good shade of blue.
I take that back. There is one shade of blue. Light Periwinkle. But, I have had the same issues with that yarn as I am having with the Navy. Maybe I can choose a color other then blue to be the primary color for spring and winter.
Even if I use deft blue instead and the orchid I have what about December? The orchid is lighter then the purple I am using now. Deft blue needs a lighter color. But, there isn't a shade of green that would work!
The obsession is over texture. But, is that really the problem? Because color and texture won't matter if I have a different worry. If something else is causing this anxiety. I haven't been able to think of much else in the past week.
I feel stuck. Stuck because of lack of color options. Stuck because I have had to order and return a bunch of skeins to get something resembling usable and it still isn't good enough! Stuck because everything about this blanket has been harder then the other blankets.
It was frustrating to get the yarn in the first place!!! It's frustrating to choose the colors. It's frustrating to get it done before the end of the first week in October so I can work on Zach's blanket. It's frustrating because of texture.
And there it is. With the other blankets I never question if they will be comfortable. I never mentally battled over if this is a reasonable texture. I need something that doesn't cause this battle in the first place! So what is it I really want?
I want to let the idea of a blue primary for winter go. I am purposely keeping white out of it. White gets depressing to look at with too much snow. But, maybe white as a non-primary color works!
Pink can be for February. It can also be the main color used in half the blanket. I just need more of the two shades of pink I have to do the same for the spring blanket. That keeps that rule in place. White can work for December. But, white is more a January for generic snow. So, pink for February, and white for January. But, again, what about December? Once you get past red and green, there really aren't colors that are Decembery. There aren't christmasy green options that work with such light colors. Red with pink and white is Valentine's not winter.
Although, hummmmm, I have a pale yellow. Like candlelight. Lots of candles for Hanukkah, Advent, and Kwanzaa. It's very December. But, I already am using a lot of yellow in other seasons. It's too much yellow.
I am working with the idea of finishing the blanket and using it. If it turns out it's not comfortable, I can make another one. Another option is to make Zach's blanket and come back to this later. Deciding then if it's worth it.
Maybe that's what I need. Space from this blanket. I will put this aside and make Zach's blanket. Once that's done. I'll finish this and use it in winter. If once I start using it I find it to be too rough, I will circle back to the new blanket idea. Or, I can just choose different colors. That decision might come easier when I am done with Zach's blanket! I'll see what seems like the natural choice once Zach's blanket is almost done.
This all would simply be easier if I could let the idea of blue being the primary color go!!! But, I don't see that happening until I find a non-yellow December color that looks good with pink and white! Any ideas?
Wow!!! That actually helped!!! At least for the time being. They all feel a little rough. I just need to not question if it's comfortable or not!!! Now that you have sorta followed my though process. You can see what I mean! I feel good with this choice. I will work on Zach's and see how I feel along the way. I don't want it to be after the December decorating day when it's completed. So, at some point in Zach's blanket I won't think about it. I'll just see what pops into my head that gets me happy excited. I'll keep you posted.
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