Caring In The Middle

 I have not posted since May 31st. The whole family has been busy. Zach is 17 years-old now so, that means more freedom and modified rules. I still need communication even if he makes most of his own decisions. Most rule modifications are a later curfew and when to tell me if he will be home for dinner. 

I have been doing what parents of kids about to start senior year in high school do. I have been thinking about what I will do now that my time no longer completely revolves around him. I have a plan, joined a couple of important committees at our summer place, and have been busy. My dad is now 79 and some of that "busy" means as Zach needs me less, he needs me more. 

Lots of people are in this position. This is one of the few things about me that is common. Somehow, I am busier now than when Zach was on two baseball teams in the spring playing both Saturdays and Sundays with weekday practices. Because Zach still needs me. It's a good feeling. 

It's a mix of tiring and enjoyable. It also means lots of time with people I love. Zach has gone to prom, got inducted into the National Social Studies Honor Society, completed camp at a college in NJ, got his driver's license, and has been overall busy. Dad has had some basic needs we are still working on meeting but there has been some good progress. 

I have been doing something I am good at, planning entertainment events and a few other things. I also have been re-adjusting our seasonal meal-plan spreadsheets and added seasonal plans for when it's just me and Josh. Because that happens now. I'm back to doing the dinner dishes but I have a good "eating alone" routine. 

Zach has chosen Environmental Science for his major. It is far from a surprise for me. Originally, he wanted to be a Structural Engineer for the environment part. Today he is re-visiting a college he saw when considering business and tomorrow he sees Rutger's. We held off on Rutger's until he chose a major. He liked where he did camp, but they do not have Environmental Science. 

This year is going to be a wild ride. Senior year always is. Planning for the future while living the life you have for many years. In the midst of that, making sure my dad's needs are met and that he knows he is loved. 

My dad is lucky. My brother and I live in the same town that he is in. He sees us. My brother helps with finances, and my family does food and appointments. Anywhere else he would need assisted living. But, because we are here, he has the love and support he needs to be in a nice apartment. A lot of people his age as not as lucky. He also gets visited by friends and other family all of the time. 

It's an interesting time in life. Sometimes at 45 I feel too young for it. But my average parent friend is 5 - 8 years older than me. The math adds up. I don't know emotionally how I will handle this upcoming school year. But I am trying to be prepared for the changes. Like everyone else in my situation.