Talk To Me, Dude

Zach is 9. In June, he will turn 10. Puberty has slowly started to show up. His voice is no longer that sweet sound of a small child. It's not deep yet. But, it's deeper then before. He likes his bangs longer then before. So they flip slightly to the side like the team celebrities girls like. It's also becoming harder to get him to talk.

Every kid gets there at one point. Where answers to "what did you learn in school today?" Becomes "I don't remember." Even follow-up questions don't work. Asking about something fun instead of school? That doesn't matter. It's the same kind of response.

But, on Wednesday he left out something important that only came up in the doctor's visit yesterday. Zach had to come home early from school on Wednesday. He was bent over in pain. It was definitely not the appendix. His lungs were clear. But, albuterol worked (with and without Tylenol). 

The dancer in my knew right away he had pulled a muscle. But, he said it started to hurt when he was just walking in the hall. He hadn't bounced against anything. With the albuterol working, I found myself curious if it was asthma related. So, on Thursday he went to the doctor.

With the doctor in the room, about halfway through the session, Zach remembered something important. They had been stretching to the sides before he took that walk to the bathroom. Stretching to the sides, the same side he now claimed hurt. Yup, the doctor confirmed it was a pulled muscle.

Zach stopped needing medicine and took it easy for the rest of the day yesterday. Today, he went to school saying nothing hurt. I rolled my eyes and reminded him that we could have saved the trip to the doctor. If only he had mentioned the part about stretching.

He's at that age and will be like this for 10 - 12 years most likely. Communication is important. We have to find the balance between letting him have some things that are his and sharing what we need to know about.

In a lot of ways we are lucky. When we have issues or need to change how we are doing something, Zach and I sit down and talk about it. We talk about what we each are looking for and share ideas on new routines that might work better then what we currently do. He also is really good about sharing the things that are troubling him.

But, he isn't sharing about what he's doing during the day. He's leaving out details. Is it because he genuinely doesn't remember the little things? Is he too distracted to process the details? Does he just like keeping the details to himself for a sense of control over something? It's probably all three, depending on the details in question.

Hey, Zach, talk to me, Dude!