My mind is at it again. In May of 2017 I wrote the below blog post. It's about an OCD battle. I had two vests for when it feels like 50 - 55 degrees out. Fall and spring. I was trying to find vests of the same warmth level for winter and spring.
I have a sensory processing disorder as well as my OCD, Anxiety, and occasional depression. I have posted many ways that I have tried to create comfort around me as often as possible. My senses are stronger then regular people. Every sense. As with everything, it's only an actual disorder if it controls your life. See that list of issues? ALL of them control my life.
One way I create comfort is with a dress for the weather spreadsheet. What do I wear in different feels like temperature situations. On the bottom is a notes section for when I dress differently for walks, substitutions, and when to dress 5 degrees higher or lower based on other weather factors (rain, clouds, humidity, night, and wind). From what type of shirt to wear to if I need a hat and cowl it has all been charted.
We all have a range in our heads for how we are comfortable in different situations. I just wrote it down. It makes a nice reference when I am leaving the apartment. I have a list for Josh and Zach too and they seem comfortable with it.
http://homewithmommy-fran.blogspot.com/2017/05/53-degrees.html
The end results for the battle in that blog post are kind of ironic. I kept the fleece vests and liked them so much I replaced the fall and spring vests with fleece vests too. They have been working great. So, why I am still trapped in an OCD battle over temperatures in the low 50's?
It's a different battle. Before the vests I had used denim jackets for that temperature range. Once I got the vests, I've struggled with when to wear the denim jackets. I decided to use them without a sweater in the high 50's. But, it's more practical to just wear a sweater and no jacket in the high 50's. So, yesterday I decided to choose between them vests or denim jackets. One of them had to go.
As with everything they both have advantages and disadvantages. I am making a list of them below. Maybe this will help me decide. It sometimes helps to resolve these internal battles with these lists. Sometimes the results change if I go to make the same list twice though.
Vests
Advantages:
1. Feels light
2. The front closes.
3. Feels like outerwear.
4. Zipper pockets great for my new phone!
5. Easy arm movements.
6. Nice colors.
7. Temperature consistency (ironic really given the original post)
8. I like them.
9. Looks good.
Disadvantages:
1. Arms get cold
2. I used to think of it as level 1. Now I have to think of it as level 2
(note: I have different levels of warmth value for my outerwear. The truth is, it's more a level 2 anyway. Level 1 is my rain jacket for when I normally wouldn't be using a jacket.)
Denim Jackets
Advantages:
1. Arms stay warm
2. Already considered a level 2 jacket.
3. I like them.
4. Looks good.
Disadvantages:
1. I never close it so the front stays open.
2. Feels like a blazer (not outerwear).
3. Open pockets.
4. More awkward to put on then the vest
5. Inconsistant between the seasons. (I have them for my favorite clothing brands. They are nice and comfortable. But, one goal is to have the same jackets for each season. The only difference is color. Consistency has led to better comfort. I don't have the consistency with the denims.)
That was easier then I thought! It looks like I have a clear answer! Vests it is! I honestly thought the list would be closer then this. It makes sense. Josh gave up his denim when I got him a vest a couple of years ago. Zach too. They simply find it overall more comfortable. I guess, when I think about it, I do too.
This really started on a walk I took last night. The feels like temperature was in the low 50's. Zach was with my parents so I took a nice walk. My arms did start feeling cold while walking. It made me wonder if I would be more comfortable in the denim jacket.
Before I got any vests I used denim and a sweater for this temperature range. Now, I use the vest and a sweater. I don't button close the denim jackets. Let's be honest, that looks ridiculous. That's part of the problem I am having today. Most people use them like a blazer. A piece when putting together an outfit. Not as outerwear.
An average person would wear whatever they feel like on a given day. OCD doesn't work like that. By settling this battle today I will know what to wear and getting dressed will take a much shorter time.
So, I am finding that the real question is....................am I comfortable enough to not obsess over comfort?
That's a quote in the original blog post. Today I know the answer is "yes". The quote below is also from that blog post.
53 degrees. Smack in the middle of the low 50s. When it somehow is warm and cold at the same time. When you don't need a jacket, but you do need a sweater and/or a vest. When you can be comfortable being outside for a while. However, you really appreciate the heat when you go inside.
The vest thing was complicated because the temperature range is complicated. Is it warm? Is it cool? My senses were heightened. It was hard to get a good read because the influencing factors kept changing. Sometimes twice within a minute.
But, that's 53 degrees.
Sometimes I should take my own advice. I know I am making the right choice for me at this point in time when the questions stop. When the doubt stops. When the "yeah, buts" stop. I know the battle is over when it just feels right.
This feels right. The vests it is. I have been wearing them in this range for about five years. If it was that uncomfortable for my arms I would have changed the chart years ago. I had that battle in May because I like the vests and wanted to get it right!
A now the calm settles over me.
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