Another project I can't seem to let end. Two more are on the way from China. One is for Josh. He had an old picture of Babe Ruth shaking Yogi Berra's hands above his dresser. It was small. Josh and I agreed if we can find something he liked, we'd get that. If not, Yogi and Babe would stay and the space would be filled differently. He needed something bigger.
He found one he loves! I even catch him looking at the picture of it online sometimes. The painting itself has just processed through customs in NYC today! Once it hits AC Moore, we're looking at about 2 1/2 weeks. It's his birthday gift! "Almost Heaven" makes him smile every time :)! He says he finally understands how I felt about the other paintings!
There is also one more. In the living room we had a collage of baby pictures of Zach. I had been doing a once around. Every section I looked at. I asked myself "will I always be happy with this?" After moving a few around, the answer was "yes". But, it won't be long until he doesn't want those baby pictures on the wall. So I put a smaller painting there and ordered a new one. "Twilight Cottage" is a nighttime landscape. Perfect for the bedroom.
Why can't I stop? What got this started in the first place? A small 12 x 14 ocean painting we got on vacation on the boardwalk. I go into that gallery multiple times each year. This time, on date night, Josh and I chose one together. Waves at sunset. Our favorite part of date night each year is watching the real version. We did just that right after leaving the gallery.
Once it was on the wall, I looked around. Too much wall space for my comfort. I am probably going to die in this condo. It's time we made this look like our home! Fill the spaces! Full walls add life to a room! It was time to bring some life to the condo!
With each painting, my worries and anxieties became easier to manage. The panic attacks will always hit, but they go away quicker now. The distractions the paintings cause work big time! Those gallery tours are like medicine! These are comforting images.
It's an obsession. Making every wall in my home look just right. Josh has given his opinion the entire time. It's his home too. Zach has helped as well. But, I did the searching. I won't go into details. I have other blog posts with those details. All I really can add is that it finally feels like home.
But, the OCD clearly shows!
8 Cottages
4 with bridges
8 with clear seasons
16 with water
18 with paths to walk on
That doesn't include Zach's room and the non-Thomas Kinkade paintings! Some paintings have more then one of those things in them. Imagery that sooths me.
It becomes a disorder when it's strong enough to control your life. This obsession is a clear example of that. It's managing my OCD and General Anxiety Disorder. It might help with winter depression too. Because when things look bleak outside, they look full of life inside.
Okay so once these last two arrive and are framed, THEN will I be done? Remember that "rabbit hole" blog post? I'd like to say "yes". There aren't any more places to put anything else. But, I thought I was done two paintings ago! That's what that last look around was for. To finish this project. There isn't any other place for something else. There isn't anything I want to change. It's all finally just right! Once these two are framed and hanging, I'll post the tour.
I do finish projects. I am able to move on to something new. When it's OCD perfect!!! As in, my compulsion for it to look a certain way has been met. The lighting is right. The frame color ratio per room is right. The paintings look like they are "home" making this feel like my home. My permanent home.
But, how can a painting look like it is "home"? Find something in your house or apartment that has been on the wall for a very long time. Can you picture that somewhere else? Wouldn't the wall look strange with something else there? Wouldn't it feel weird that picture or painting being in a different place? You know a painting is "home" because of instinct. That's how you settled on that space for it in the first place!
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