Genealogy and Traditions

3 of my grandparents were 100% Irish. My 4th grandparent was 100% Italian.

Guess which grandparent was in charge of passing down traditions.

Most traditions are passed down through the mother's side of the family. There might be a few from the father's side. But the one running the household is the one deciding how things are done. If you come from a close family, you are more likely to cherish most traditions.

Growing up, my mom lived with her Italian grandparents. Her Italian grandfather came from Italy when he was 17. His sponsor was his wife's father. My poor Irish grandfather was outnumbered when it came to how to do things.

There is only one Christmas tradition from my Irish grandfather, that I know of. The Christmas cookie recipe. The same cookies we made on Sunday. The Italian Christmas tradition that stands out to me is the meatless Christmas Eve dinner.

Apparently, it's an Italian thing. The main course of Christmas Eve dinner was fish and/or pasta. My mom still insists on it! We won't celebrate with them until Christmas Day at my brother's house. But, my Mom is holding her own Christmas Eve celebration on Saturday.

It's a tradition she was raised with that is very important to her. As a kid, it was torture! She makes a pretty good alfredo sauce. Unfortunately, there wasn't much else we could eat. This year is going to be hard too. I can't eat shellfish because of the allergy. I also don't like much seafood to begin with. At least I can eat more now then as a kid.

It's like that for a lot of things. The Italian parent was the one to teach my mom to cook. So most of the things she makes have an Italian background. They are delicious. But, her cooking repertoire clearly came from an Italian heritage.

I wonder what would be different if my mom's Irish parent was her mother instead. If she lived with her Irish grandparents instead of her Italian ones. Which heavily Irish traditions would we be following? What would be the main course on Christmas Eve? A turkey, chicken, a roast, what? Probably something you can hunt that goes good with potatoes.

Ironically, my Mom was always a Daddy's girl. No one in her family was surprised when she fell in love with an Irish dude. In her dining room are photographs of her Irish grandparents. I can't take my eyes off of her grandmother. Mary Daly. I look just like her. I apparently am like her in many ways. I feel the family history flowing through my veins when I look into her eyes, literally. It's energy that makes me physically shake. It doesn't happen when I look into her husband's eyes. Only her. It's always been that way.

My Mom taught me how to cook. So I learned the Italian recipes my Mom learned from her mother and grandmother. Zach is learning them from me too. One more generation where the Italian traditions are the dominate ones. We might get more out of it if Zach marries someone who doesn't cook!

Traditions do change over time and through the generations. But, there are some basics that don't. A lot of traditions are based in where your ancestors are from. We all have traditions like that.

The ones that stick are the ones that are flexible. The Christmas Eve dinner is a good example of that. One rule, no meat. That's easy to work with no matter where you are or what the date is. So that is likely to stick.

I never feel more connected to my ancestors then when celebrating these traditions. Genealogy is a strong interest of mine. My mom talks a lot about her Italian family. Because she lived with them. So I ask a lot about my Irish family. Because I want to know them as well as I know my Italian family. Even though I'll never meet them. I ask a lot about Mary Daly. Do you have an ancestor that draws you deeper then the others too?

No matter what you are celebrating in the next few weeks I hope you connect to your ancestors through the traditions passed down. There is no better way to find your own identity then through where you came from. Just like when I make Mary Daly's cookies each year.