After the Alligator

I read the news the other day. The first story was about a little boy taken into the water by an alligator in Disney World. The next day was the article that his body has been recovered. The responses ever since have been predictable. Some people criticize the parents others criticize the critics.

Critics say "why weren't his parents watching him?" and "there were 'no swimming' signs". He wasn't swimming. He was standing on the shore nearby. Both his parents WERE watching him. His dad tried to free him from the alligator instantly.

When you picture this incident, how quickly do you think it took place in? The alligator grabbing the kid. Do you picture a long struggle? I don't! I imagine this happened very quickly! Alligators are predators. They are quick. The after bite struggle took longer then the bite and tug itself. Even that might not have lasted that long. No one was watching the clock so we don't know for certain!

After the alligator came a lot of critics. I read one critic, critic that dared the critics to say what they post online to the faces of Lane's parents. I like that idea, frankly. Too many people hide behind a computer and say things they would NEVER say in person. Because they don't want the labels that come with saying those things in person to the people you are talking about. "Heartless" is one that comes to mind.

In the aftermath after the alligator I found myself asking "WHY is there criticism in the first place?" The answer is fear. The critics usually say some variation of "That wouldn't have happened if it were MY kid!" But, that's burying the fear. The fear that it could be your kid. That someday something could happen and you become the grieving parent.

When I read about these kinds of tragedies I find myself thinking some things that wouldn't occur to most people. Did they have trouble getting pregnant with this child? Was it a high risk pregnancy? What about labor? How much did they suffer to get this child in the first place only to loose him/her way too soon?! What was their personality? I wish I could just give this family one giant hug!!!

These parents will be asking themselves if they could have done something different. They will be crying as they pack up his things. They might never give anything of his away again. They might take a very long time before doing something with his room. They will cry when they think of his hugs and kisses. They will cry when thinking of giving him hugs and kisses. His older sister will think of him as she goes through school. They will all relive this moment for the rest of their lives.

What they need more then anything right now is support. They don't need to be told everything will be okay. He's gone forever. They might eventually move on, but they will never forget him and will never be okay with his loss. They need hugs. They need distractions. They need to hear from the people that say "you did everything you could possibly have done!"

The critics are bullies. They won't like that label but that's what they are. Bullies!!!! Bullies bully to cover up their own insecurities. When I read or hear a critic I listen to what they are saying. Because in their words are their fears. I respect the people who say "I can't imagine what they must be going through!"

I talk all of the time about why we shouldn't judge. We don't have all the information. We don't have the education and life experiences others have. In times of tragedy there isn't room for critics. There is only room for support!!!

We talk so much about the parents. That sister was on the beach too. I just read this article about Disney princesses that came to comfort her. She is young. But, she'll never forget this. This will effect her development. She will think of him every time a friend complains about their brother. She will hear the sentence somewhere down the road "you are so lucky you don't have a brother because mine is awful!" Words with good intentions that will hurt!!!

In their grief, her parents still have to raise her. Will they be able to fully mourn this loss? They will be there for her as she works her way through it. They had to explain to her what happened. They have to teach her about death. They might have to answer the question "why did God take Lane from us?" Questions that might make their own grief harder to deal with!

After the Alligator we must ask ourselves "how would we need people to respond if we were the parents or sister of this child?"

http://www.local8now.com/content/news/Disney-characters-comfort-sister-of-boy-killed-by-Alligator-383370651.html