Monday, May 21, 2012

That Was Strange

Oh, the irony!!!

Starting Mother's Day weekend I heard neighbors having sex. Unquestionable that's what it was. One couple briefly but the other couple 3 times (including this past Saturday and Sunday). The 3 time couple knew I was sitting on the chairs outside (and I said something after the first time so the other two were a little better). Here's the thing, we've lived here for 6 years and windows open or not have never heard any neighbors having sex, until recently. That's not including the pair that our other neighbor heard and asked me if I heard them (I didn't). That's an whole lotta sex and it's seems odd that I'm hearing it now.

That's because of the other strange comments we've been getting. The strangest being Josh hearing on Facebook from a distant cousin with the cousin asking "Any news?". I have an almost 3 year old so daily I get asked "would you like another one?" The answer is always "I would LOVE another one but we can't afford it so this is it." Josh gets more questions like "what's up? How's Fran (or the family)". His are less specific but have that "I know you want another kid so have you finally caved and started trying or not?" air to them. That includes Rishi and Umang. We were there for dinner about a month ago and they kept talking about "when you have another you'll find out". So definite, so sure. They have a now 6 month old baby and their daughter, Saumya was the 4 year old in the "Zach's First Kid Party" post.

Everyone is just so sure there will be a second. I finally had two days strait where I basically didn't think at all about another baby (gardening all weekend I planted pachysandra here and took care of my parent's lawn and other things while they were away). OCD can be a good thing, supplement a hard obsession with a more fun one as a distraction. And yet, everyone is so sure we'll cave and try for another and find a way to make it work.

Even my Mom had a curious comment yesterday "I'm glad things are looking up for you". I wasn't aware I was going through a rough time. Things seemed the same as they have been lately. It's the kind of thing you say to someone who was struggling with something rough and finally starts getting good news. I had a surprise for her yesterday. When I told her, while they were on the way home, she seemed wary. It was just some freshly planted Daisies I got her including small pots for them. But, it was like when I call with something to tell her, she seems to be bracing herself for a pregnancy announcement. Even though she knows I'm on the pill.

A stronger pill too. My Gyno put my on stronger pills and plans to stop my period. It's not necessary to have a period. Refresher: The period is just the Endimetrial layer leaving. It's there to cushion a baby if you get pregnant but isn't attached to the process of getting pregnant. Soon I'll have no period at all. I also am great at remembering to take the pill at about the same time every day so the efficiency rate is like 98% or something like that.

But there is that 2% chance of no matter how accurate you are it can happen. Is there something all these people know that I don't? The hearing my neighbors thing I assumed was God telling us to have more sex. Being on the pill means only about 4 days a month where I have a chance to orgasm (see the How to Guide post (link below) those 4 days are when the cervix is high). This weekend just so happened to be it. I've been fighting that low sex drive (great about flirting but hard time once there) and Josh and I have talked about possible solutions. Sex was so good off the pill when we were trying to get pregnant. Suddenly, that thought has crossed my mind too and sex even on the pill used to be easier then this. Is God sending me a message that it's time to try for another. Great now get Josh a huge raise and we'll be thrilled to oblige. For some reason my family doesn't feel complete. Don't people say they "feel their family is complete" when they really are done? I hadn't thought about that until last night but it's true, this doesn't feel complete.

I don't know what to make of these strange things. By planting the pachysandra and Forsythia bush it made this apartment like home, two things that always remind me of my parents house. It felt like saying "this is it" then why doesn't it feel that way? Why do I have flashes of a positive pregnancy test in my mind from out of the blue? Just Saturday I was sad that I'll never personally experience any more big life events like marriage, kids, buying a house, ect..... Why? I don't think there is a distraction big enough for this one. And why oh why did I almost break my foot again 3 times yesterday (I didn't but it was the same foot as last year).

Here are other ways I've used gardening as a distraction:

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